My Mom And Her Great Ideas

My mom has another great idea for me. What would I do without her? Since I'm not going to be selling on Ebay anymore, she thinks we should start selling at shows. Not too big of a stretch since we already go to so many. Mom and I have some serious collecting issues.....some may call it hoarding, a few may even call it a sickness of sorts.....I would not argue any of these opinions. Anyway, we went to one of our favorite antique show/flea markets today. You can get anything from a six pack of socks to an original Schwinn Stingray, from a bushel of peaches to a Mission Dining set. Yes, I mention these things because I've purchased all of them there at some point before.....everything in between too. Well, we looked at the show from a seller's viewpoint instead of a buyer's. It wasn't pretty.

Let me just say right now for the record, if my mom decides last minute that she can't do the show with me it will be grounds for never speaking to her again. All future communication will have to be done through a 3rd party. First off, I will have to prepare myself to see a multitude of huge naked bellies, both men and women. Why it's not necessary to cover all that skin I'm not sure. Dressing professionally or with properly fitting clothing (hell, I'd even settle for looking like they just rolled out of bed) is clearly not required. All jokes told have to have the word "horny", or "hooters", and then you must laugh maniacally. I don't know any right now, but I do have internet access. I'll have to make sure and call everyone either Sweetie or Honey. Also, I must completely ignore that all the porta potties have a hand sanitizer dispenser inside. I must ignore it so completely that if someone asks if that particular port has any sanitizer left, I have to look at them like they are crazy and tell them I have no idea what they are talking about. Now most of these I can do with no problem on my own, but if my mom thinks we should do these shows then she will have to partake in the "enjoyment" of it or it's OVER! Are you reading this mom????