Oh Hell

Apparently, the One Woman Mob has sold her house. Readers, what am I going to do now? Who is going to take care of the animal carcasses that seem to pile up in my path? What will I do when China takes his gun out of retirement? Readers.....what is to become of me????

New Ew

My kids don't know the word disgusting. In their world everything is dee-skusting. That must be just horrifically gross, I'm guessing. Like so bad that you can't even say the word properly for the fear of what it will do to your tongue. It's dripping with vileness.

Or it could be that's the way Vader says it. Vader. Where do you come up with this stuff, now I have to de-program your children.

The House Is Open!

Good news, I got my shit together enough so that I was able to pull off an open house this weekend. My back wasn't totally in shape, but it was good enough to scrub the floors, swiffer the ceilings and febreeze the curtains. Vader was a big help to me and we showed the crap out of this house, the open house went great! No offers yet, but we're sending positive thoughts out for one in the next day or two. Mostly because I'm postive we'll see some snow in the next month or two. I'm not having it, Readers. Not. Having. It.

Friends & Neighbors

I believe I've mentioned my friends VD before. This unfortunate combination of initials was completely unrealized by them until I so lovingly pointed it out to them one winter evening. How this fun-fact could be lost on them after 16 plus years of marriage I'll never know.

The combination of mine and Vader's initials were not lost on me even while we were dating. I mean I had to think about the ramifications of it before I even thought about marriage. We're T & A. My initial is the A and sadly, I don't have a lot of ass, the T I have in superabundance though. What are you gonna do? Oh well, we just didn't get initials that suited us just right....I won't speculate on others, that's just not my business.

Food, Friends and The Musical Stylings of Free Spirit

Last night was the 3rd annual VD September-fest & Rib Cook Off. I think it's obvious by the name that it was hosted by my friend V, who puts the V in VD. As well as her husband who technically is D, who puts the D in VD, but he's always been known in this blog as China and will be known as such forevermore. You can refresh why he's known as China here and also here. September-fest is a success based on who shows up, how good the food is, and if they can get live music. In my judgement this year was total success. BFF Good Joo came up from Indiana along her with hubby, Free Spirit. Of course they brought Little A and Juicy B. Free Spirit has a mini-band with his friend, Dentist. They play such favorites of us 30-somethings as Bon Jovi, Poison, Neil Diamond, and even a little Simon and Garfunkel. You can see by the pics of the party that Free Spirit looks like a farmer, that happens when you move to Indiana farm country. By next year he'll probably be singing Kenny Rogers and Willie Nelson. You can also see Juicy B, she's got the music in her, she can't get enough Bon Jovi. What you can't see in the picture is Good Joo loudly heckling Free Spirit. It didn't even throw him off track, he's a true professional.Vader was very into the music, as you can see he's really letting loose. Then of course I'm sitting with Good Joo, E, and V. V is next to China who has his BFF Mini Me practically attached at the hip. Now, I'm going to have to point out that I'm on the left of the picture. I notice that there are others that look like me, nearly everyone was Dutch so we were blonde and everyone clearly copied my outfit, how embarrassing for them. They must all read my blog and have been studying my sense of style. I'll take it as a compliment.This is a great photo of the party-goers as well as V & China with his BFF. For those of you who couldn't attend, China was the undisputed winner yet again of the rib cook off. I highly recommend stopping by the house of VD some night around dinner time if you smell grilling meat. China does magical things to his meat.

This is another aerial picture I had to take for The Fest so you could take in the splendor of food, grills, mini-band, and loads of party-goers. And Vader. Always the splendor of Vader.

Well Readers, it's never fun to say goodbye to summer. But that really depends on who you know, doesn't it? Who wouldn't look forward to an end of summer party such as this? I for one am happy to say, "Good-bye summer, bring on the VD Septemberfest!!"

Just What I Needed

Oh Readers, I put out my back. I'm not sure how, but I'm very sorry about it and I've learned my lesson. My back is a sensitive, important part of my body and I now know that I shouldn't treat it badly by doing heavy lifting or any other forms of hard labor....that's what Vader is for.

My story in abbreviated form follows, for sitting is still a problem for me and I can't do this for longer than 15 minutes.

I couldn't get out of bed this morning, not because I was tired, but because I physically couldn't move. By the time I pulled myself up using the bar on the treadmill, I was sweating and 10 minutes had elapsed....it was then I found out that I couldn't stand. My left leg didn't work and I fell back onto the bed, clearly in pain and trying not to wake the neighbors with my yelling. I finally decided the only thing I could do was crawl. So, I carefully dropped off the bed and got into the crawling position where I was unfortunately facing the wall and not my door. It's a tight space between my bed and the treadmill, so I had to get back onto the bed and figure out how to get down again...but facing the correct way this time. Now, you may think this is a lot of bullshit to go through, just lay in bed and call the kid in sick to school. However, I knew that I had only about a 2 minute window remaining before I peed my pants. I had no choice, I had to get to that bathroom. I literally crawled onto the landing and then up the stairs. After using the bathroom I crawled in to the tub so that I could get some heat on my back, resulting in finally getting some movement. After that I was able to stand, dress, and get the kids around...albeit very slowly. Finally with much pain I got into the van to take D to school and he was amazingly only 10 minutes late. Then, sadly, I had to go to the grocery store because otherwise we wouldn't be eating today. Poor A had to help me out the whole time. I couldn't bend to get anything and then I shuffled around the store using the cart as a sort of walker. I'm sure everyone was thinking, "Look at that sweet little girl helping her 85 year old crippled grandma as she shuffles through the store."

Three Guesses

I know, I look crabby. What could be wrong? Could it maybe have something to do with Vader? One look at my face says yes.

Vader and I have been married for over 12 years. In December, we will have been together for 16 years. That's quite a while. And to this very day, Readers, as in TODAY.....he still doesn't know my birthday. Don't get me wrong, we don't really do a gift thing for each other, no big celebrations, I'm an adult, I don't go all crazy over my birthday. But my husband could at least know the date. Without guessing. After 16 years. 16.

Huge thanks to my sister for the special effects, making this picture possible. Because of her, no more hats for me on my crabby days!

Happy Birthday Vader!

Poor Vader.....it was his birthday last week. Not only is he suuuuper old, I wasn't at home to cook him a birthday dinner or celebrate with him. Thus, he ate lots of fast food, as is evidenced by his birthday photo, and went to bed early. Now, I'm back from my extra long weekend and I plan to curb his fast-food eating and cook him some good meals and a belated cake.

I would like to add that I think his birthday-boy crown is a nice touch, and he should make that a more routine accessory to his always fashionable ensembles. Excellent use of bling, Vader.

So Sorry

This is Gonna. Gonna is BFF Good Joo's beautiful kitty. I lost her picture last week. So sorry Gonna. So now I'm posting her picture and I'd like for you to notice how darling Gonna is, she looks so cute and cuddly. Well, don't judge a book by it's cover, Readers. Gonna has just shredded two chairs, a rug, an innocent child's plush toy, and then threw up a hairball under Good Joo's table. Then she posed for this picture. As you might've guessed, annoying Good Joo is a favorite pastime of Gonna's.

Also, please note Good Joo and myself in the background. We are smiling through the pain of our suffering with the shared sore throats. Actually, Good Joo may be imagining herself giving Gonna the boot. Ah Gonna, it's a fine line with Good Joo and I think you passed it after the shredding of the chairs. You don't mess with an Obsessive Compulsive's furniture, unless it's a simple rearrangement, and expect to get away with it. Sweet face or no. So sorry Gonna.

Oh So Much Help To Me

Vader is addicted to mountain biking. We have to work it into our family schedule, vacation schedule and even move around the work schedule....for the biking. Don't get me wrong, I love a hobby, I have a few myself. However, this past-time of his is wearing on me this week. I have far too much to do. As I was cleaning and painting and packing and taking care of the children last weekend to prepare for the realtors, here is a picture of Vader....coming home from his road ride.

After returning from said road ride, he was overhead talking with a mountain biking buddy. What was said, didn't please me. He's decided he needs to up his riding days. He's just not getting in enough rides. So this is a picture of him loading his mountain bike onto the car for the mountain bike rides he took last week during the time that I was very busy being frantic over all manner of things including my completely virus ridden computer, and how to get everything done in a day without my computer since my job is solely on the computer.

Perhaps I wouldn't be such a crab about all the biking if his list of things to do before we sell the house was finished. Perhaps I wouldn't be such a crab about it if he didn't lose 5 pounds with every single ride and then tell me how loose his damn pants are. No one wants to hear about your amazing weight loss, Vader.