Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I Must've Missed Something
I just don't know where some of this stuff comes from. DJ loves...no wait...LOVES Star Wars, particularly the little chubby Galactic Heros guys. He loves the movies, all of it. Why, with all this watching of the movies and playing with the guys, he hasn't yet picked up one of the main character's name is beyond me. He calls R2-D2, ED-Dar 2. What? He calls him that and I'm like, I have no idea who you're talking about. I ask him if he means R2, and he's all like, I have no idea who you're talking about. At this point I know it's not C3-PO he's refering to, he just calls him, "The other one."
Of Harmonicas and Musicals
I can't make New Year's resolutions. I just don't see the point. Instead I just take the opportunity on any old regular day to decide to start something that I will decide to not do anymore a week later. I surely don't need the start of a new year to help me not do all the things I should be doing.
So today, I think I'll just talk about some of the fun moments with the kids from Christmas.
1. My dad brought a tree cut down from his 40 acres for our outdoor Christmas tree this year. He decorated it with 6 strands of lights and it was beautiful and the kids loved it. In fact, DJ even named it....Old Man Jenkins. Huh? I don't know why, but that is the tree's name and we must call the tree a "he", and we must refer to it by name. An example;
DJ: "Mommy, mommy, mommy! Come quick, it's Old Man Jenkins!"
Me: "Honey, I know, he's crooked from the strong wind."
DJ: "Someone has to fix him."
Me: "It's okay, we're nearly done with Old Man Jenkins. He has to be thrown out for recycling. They'll chop him up into wood chips."
2. DJ received a harmonica for Christmas from my parents....much to my great joy and happiness as you can imagine. (Admittedly, the child does show some talent on the thing.) After receiving said harmonica, DJ stood up and declared it the best gift of the whole Christmas and the best toy he had in his whole room....then played himself out with a happy little ditty. Granted, he couldn't remember the name of it for a number of days, he would call it a flute, a clarinet and occassionally a percussion...who knows. Now, after hearing it nearly non-stop for a few days, it was quite odd that all of a sudden I noticed a quiet settling over our house a day or two ago. I actually had the nerve to ask where the harmonica was. He told me that he had to hide it in a super, super secret hiding place and it was safely tucked away. Apparently harmonica-nappers are a big problem around the neighborhood.
3. DJ also received the fancy new Razor scooter that is shaped in a 'Y'. Since there are feet upon feet of snow outside, we moved some rugs around in the basement and both the kids have had quite a time taking turns and riding the heck out of that scooter. Michigan...how I loathe you.
4. AJ received her dream gift, the Nintendo DS Lite in a pale shimmery pink. Oh the joy! She's been wanting one for over a year now. She's decided that it was well worth the wait and is becoming quite the expert on Cookin' Mama. Unfortunately, she still can't say Nintendo. She received the DS, new in the box, so she could clearly see the name of it on the box. Also, everytime she turns the DS on, she's sees it's name. Knowing that she's seen all of this, knowing that she's heard me say it a million times, it's unfathomable to me that she still insists on calling it her Intendo DS. Where in the hell does that 'N' go?
5. Happily, the kids got lots of Playmobil for Christmas. They were thrilled, mommy was in heaven....unless someone else tried to put the sets together, oh no, that's my job, no one touches the Playmobil but me. When will people learn to not mess with my obsessions?
6. My husband got a Wii for Christmas. He was spoiled, but I figured he deserved it after wanting a game system for about the last 7 or 8 years. Don't think I just handed it over to him though, nope, I put it in a large Pampers box. When he opened it, I told him I was pregnant. Hooray! He didn't cheer. He didn't even smile. At that moment, I'm pretty sure, he thought it was the worst Christmas of his life and he was cursing his greedy little heart for even unwrapping that big old box.
7. This is the first year that DJ wanted Legos. Oh he loves the Legos so so much. Mostly Star Wars Legos, some Indeejana Jones though too. When I asked him before Christmas what he could see himself playing with on Christmas day, he answered, "Star Wars Legos and those little chubby Star Wars guys." He of course means the Galactic Heros Star Wars characters. Some of the cutest things ever made and a sure fire bet for my next toy obsession.
8. Speaking of obsessions, AJ is obsessed with all things MUSICALS! She loves musicals. Of course the obligatory High School Musical, but she wanted oh so much more than that this year. She had to have Mama Mia, Camp Rock, Chicago, Hairspray, soundtracks...ANYTHING! Where on Earth does she get this crazy obsession thing from....
All in all, it was such a great Christmas. We had 4 full days together with no one having to go to work or anything. There has been lots of movie watching, or musical watching..whatever, lots of playing Wii, sharing the scooter (even with mom and dad), building new fantastic ships/jets/vehicles/towers with the Legos, setting up of the new Playmobil city, and in general just complete enjoyment of this winter break. Except for the winter of it. Best of all, this could all take place while I read a book or played some computer solitaire...why? Because my kids are imaginative, creative, friends with each other, smart, and just plain old enough to play on their own! That deserves a Hooray!
So today, I think I'll just talk about some of the fun moments with the kids from Christmas.
1. My dad brought a tree cut down from his 40 acres for our outdoor Christmas tree this year. He decorated it with 6 strands of lights and it was beautiful and the kids loved it. In fact, DJ even named it....Old Man Jenkins. Huh? I don't know why, but that is the tree's name and we must call the tree a "he", and we must refer to it by name. An example;
DJ: "Mommy, mommy, mommy! Come quick, it's Old Man Jenkins!"
Me: "Honey, I know, he's crooked from the strong wind."
DJ: "Someone has to fix him."
Me: "It's okay, we're nearly done with Old Man Jenkins. He has to be thrown out for recycling. They'll chop him up into wood chips."
2. DJ received a harmonica for Christmas from my parents....much to my great joy and happiness as you can imagine. (Admittedly, the child does show some talent on the thing.) After receiving said harmonica, DJ stood up and declared it the best gift of the whole Christmas and the best toy he had in his whole room....then played himself out with a happy little ditty. Granted, he couldn't remember the name of it for a number of days, he would call it a flute, a clarinet and occassionally a percussion...who knows. Now, after hearing it nearly non-stop for a few days, it was quite odd that all of a sudden I noticed a quiet settling over our house a day or two ago. I actually had the nerve to ask where the harmonica was. He told me that he had to hide it in a super, super secret hiding place and it was safely tucked away. Apparently harmonica-nappers are a big problem around the neighborhood.
3. DJ also received the fancy new Razor scooter that is shaped in a 'Y'. Since there are feet upon feet of snow outside, we moved some rugs around in the basement and both the kids have had quite a time taking turns and riding the heck out of that scooter. Michigan...how I loathe you.
4. AJ received her dream gift, the Nintendo DS Lite in a pale shimmery pink. Oh the joy! She's been wanting one for over a year now. She's decided that it was well worth the wait and is becoming quite the expert on Cookin' Mama. Unfortunately, she still can't say Nintendo. She received the DS, new in the box, so she could clearly see the name of it on the box. Also, everytime she turns the DS on, she's sees it's name. Knowing that she's seen all of this, knowing that she's heard me say it a million times, it's unfathomable to me that she still insists on calling it her Intendo DS. Where in the hell does that 'N' go?
5. Happily, the kids got lots of Playmobil for Christmas. They were thrilled, mommy was in heaven....unless someone else tried to put the sets together, oh no, that's my job, no one touches the Playmobil but me. When will people learn to not mess with my obsessions?
6. My husband got a Wii for Christmas. He was spoiled, but I figured he deserved it after wanting a game system for about the last 7 or 8 years. Don't think I just handed it over to him though, nope, I put it in a large Pampers box. When he opened it, I told him I was pregnant. Hooray! He didn't cheer. He didn't even smile. At that moment, I'm pretty sure, he thought it was the worst Christmas of his life and he was cursing his greedy little heart for even unwrapping that big old box.
7. This is the first year that DJ wanted Legos. Oh he loves the Legos so so much. Mostly Star Wars Legos, some Indeejana Jones though too. When I asked him before Christmas what he could see himself playing with on Christmas day, he answered, "Star Wars Legos and those little chubby Star Wars guys." He of course means the Galactic Heros Star Wars characters. Some of the cutest things ever made and a sure fire bet for my next toy obsession.
8. Speaking of obsessions, AJ is obsessed with all things MUSICALS! She loves musicals. Of course the obligatory High School Musical, but she wanted oh so much more than that this year. She had to have Mama Mia, Camp Rock, Chicago, Hairspray, soundtracks...ANYTHING! Where on Earth does she get this crazy obsession thing from....
All in all, it was such a great Christmas. We had 4 full days together with no one having to go to work or anything. There has been lots of movie watching, or musical watching..whatever, lots of playing Wii, sharing the scooter (even with mom and dad), building new fantastic ships/jets/vehicles/towers with the Legos, setting up of the new Playmobil city, and in general just complete enjoyment of this winter break. Except for the winter of it. Best of all, this could all take place while I read a book or played some computer solitaire...why? Because my kids are imaginative, creative, friends with each other, smart, and just plain old enough to play on their own! That deserves a Hooray!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Old, But Staying Current On Slang
I'm going to add one more little GG Iva Christmas anecdote while I'm thinking of it. Tis the season after all.
We used to get together on Christmas Eve when my Great Grandma was alive with her son (my mom's dad), his wife, my mom's brother and his wife, and then our family. One evening, after we had finished eating we were kind of all sitting around the table talking. Often times my grandma would kind of dose off at the table when she finished eating. Snoring sometimes....always waking and saying, "Oh. I must've dosed off." She was probably around 90 at the time I'm thinking of. She of course had all her faculties about her, but being that she was born in 1898 and so old, I kind of always thought of her as innocent and vulnerable. So she's kind of dosing here and there and then the conversation turned to someone she knew and she was listening, sitting there all innocent with her white curls and cat-eye shaped glasses. We'll say the woman's name was Gladys. So everyone is talking about Gladys and grandma pipes up and announces assuredly and much offended, "That woman is a klepto!" How on earth my innocent, white-haired grandma knew this Gladys was a klepto or why she chose to use the slang "klepto", rather than kleptomaniac, I'll never know. I can tell you that we all turned and looked at her, and no one really knew what to say, I think we were all trying not to laugh out loud. Oh Great Grandma Iva, so in love with Lawrence Welk, so gifted at making homemade raspberry jam, so easily tickled pink.....so offended by those kleptos.
We used to get together on Christmas Eve when my Great Grandma was alive with her son (my mom's dad), his wife, my mom's brother and his wife, and then our family. One evening, after we had finished eating we were kind of all sitting around the table talking. Often times my grandma would kind of dose off at the table when she finished eating. Snoring sometimes....always waking and saying, "Oh. I must've dosed off." She was probably around 90 at the time I'm thinking of. She of course had all her faculties about her, but being that she was born in 1898 and so old, I kind of always thought of her as innocent and vulnerable. So she's kind of dosing here and there and then the conversation turned to someone she knew and she was listening, sitting there all innocent with her white curls and cat-eye shaped glasses. We'll say the woman's name was Gladys. So everyone is talking about Gladys and grandma pipes up and announces assuredly and much offended, "That woman is a klepto!" How on earth my innocent, white-haired grandma knew this Gladys was a klepto or why she chose to use the slang "klepto", rather than kleptomaniac, I'll never know. I can tell you that we all turned and looked at her, and no one really knew what to say, I think we were all trying not to laugh out loud. Oh Great Grandma Iva, so in love with Lawrence Welk, so gifted at making homemade raspberry jam, so easily tickled pink.....so offended by those kleptos.
The Post-Christmas-Pit That Is My Home
My house is currently in a state of post-Christmas-pit. And I could care less. What am I doing about it, you ask? I'm eating loads of leftover cookies, cake, chocolate bread, and a few oranges for my vitamin C. I'm cozying up in my lovely wool blanket with a book/movie/dessert/child. Also, I'm wearing my brand new pajamas for as long as I can stand myself every day and not making my children change at all if they don't want to. I'm not cooking, not cleaning and basically just not ambitious at all. At the end of the day for the past 2 days, my kids have said, "Wow, this was a fun day!" And they're right.
Friday, December 26, 2008
I've Been Redeemed
Oh. My.
Let's just say I don't feel so bad about my wrapping skills anymore. Let's say that I totally feel like a professional wrapper. That's right. My husband is straight up the worst wrapper in the entire world. Think bad like, sorry ass, holy shit, did you wrap that or was it just run over by a car? Think, are you kidding me that he used up an entire roll of paper on 5 small packages? Think paper and tape falling all over me in discombobulated shapes and sizes. Sizes that you know someone couldn't have been thinking, "Surely this paper will fit this box." Because no it won't. And he hands them to me, "I kinda messed up when I was wrapping." My answer, "The WINNER!" For understatement of the year.
Let's just say I don't feel so bad about my wrapping skills anymore. Let's say that I totally feel like a professional wrapper. That's right. My husband is straight up the worst wrapper in the entire world. Think bad like, sorry ass, holy shit, did you wrap that or was it just run over by a car? Think, are you kidding me that he used up an entire roll of paper on 5 small packages? Think paper and tape falling all over me in discombobulated shapes and sizes. Sizes that you know someone couldn't have been thinking, "Surely this paper will fit this box." Because no it won't. And he hands them to me, "I kinda messed up when I was wrapping." My answer, "The WINNER!" For understatement of the year.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Wrap....Another 4 Letter Word
Well, Christmas is nearly upon us. Don't be surprised if I don't post a lot in the next week or so, I've many plans, I'm very popular you know. As proof, please note I was even blog tagged. So there you go.
I would just like to take a moment to reflect a little. This time of year always makes me think of my great-grandma. Not because it's Christmas and it's so special and sentimental, blah blah blah. No. It's because I loathe wrapping.
She was 75 when I was born so she was already in her 80s by the time I started kindergarten. She was always a great topic of conversation with all of my friends....because she was o-l-d. She was a constant, both in my life and in our town. Everyone called her grandma, or grandma Iva. This is a woman who credited her longevity to daily walks and whole milk. She was a force of nature, that woman, living on her own, in her own cute little pale pink house until a few months before she died. She died when she was 102, living through 3 separate centuries. I'm sure I'll have many more Iva stories to post, but this is our special holiday feature.
My grandma loved to wrap. She loved it because she adored the attention she received from people when they received a gift from her. She matched the pattern up on every package she wrapped so seamlessly, that you in fact couldn't see the seam. People would write thank you notes to her noting the amazing wrapping job more than the gift itself. That would just "tickle her pink". And it really did, she'd just smile in pride when she showed off the received thank you note, her cheeks literally turning pink. I remember many a time not being able to see where to open the gift at, she was truly gifted. Almost like a superhero....Giftwrapping Grandma.
Clearly, her gift did not pass on to me. I don't even know how on earth to match paper up that seamlessly, it must take forever. I have no patience for that. I hate wrapping, hate it. I only do it at Christmas time, all other gifts throughout the year are put in gift bags as a rule. I just feel like Christmas is more fun with the pulling off of paper, but don't think I don't hate every last second of wrapping. I make an absolute mess of most packages. My daughter loves her Bratz dolls, but those people at MGA have a serious problem with right angles, they don't believe in them or something. The boxes are never shaped well for wrapping and it surely shows under my tree....the most mangled things you ever saw. My daughter can guess what they are every time. Plus, I don't like to waste the paper, so sometimes I may be a little short on one side or something, so I will take some other leftover paper and just fill in. I tell you, grandma must be so disappointed. She had wrapping down to a true art form, I don't even have form. Though in truth, I don't think grandma would be too disappointed because she'd be truly thrilled that that is one thing I will always remember about her.
I would just like to take a moment to reflect a little. This time of year always makes me think of my great-grandma. Not because it's Christmas and it's so special and sentimental, blah blah blah. No. It's because I loathe wrapping.
She was 75 when I was born so she was already in her 80s by the time I started kindergarten. She was always a great topic of conversation with all of my friends....because she was o-l-d. She was a constant, both in my life and in our town. Everyone called her grandma, or grandma Iva. This is a woman who credited her longevity to daily walks and whole milk. She was a force of nature, that woman, living on her own, in her own cute little pale pink house until a few months before she died. She died when she was 102, living through 3 separate centuries. I'm sure I'll have many more Iva stories to post, but this is our special holiday feature.
My grandma loved to wrap. She loved it because she adored the attention she received from people when they received a gift from her. She matched the pattern up on every package she wrapped so seamlessly, that you in fact couldn't see the seam. People would write thank you notes to her noting the amazing wrapping job more than the gift itself. That would just "tickle her pink". And it really did, she'd just smile in pride when she showed off the received thank you note, her cheeks literally turning pink. I remember many a time not being able to see where to open the gift at, she was truly gifted. Almost like a superhero....Giftwrapping Grandma.
Clearly, her gift did not pass on to me. I don't even know how on earth to match paper up that seamlessly, it must take forever. I have no patience for that. I hate wrapping, hate it. I only do it at Christmas time, all other gifts throughout the year are put in gift bags as a rule. I just feel like Christmas is more fun with the pulling off of paper, but don't think I don't hate every last second of wrapping. I make an absolute mess of most packages. My daughter loves her Bratz dolls, but those people at MGA have a serious problem with right angles, they don't believe in them or something. The boxes are never shaped well for wrapping and it surely shows under my tree....the most mangled things you ever saw. My daughter can guess what they are every time. Plus, I don't like to waste the paper, so sometimes I may be a little short on one side or something, so I will take some other leftover paper and just fill in. I tell you, grandma must be so disappointed. She had wrapping down to a true art form, I don't even have form. Though in truth, I don't think grandma would be too disappointed because she'd be truly thrilled that that is one thing I will always remember about her.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Since I Can't Get My Mind Off The Evil That Is Michigan
Well, I've been blog tagged by BFF Good Joo. This is like the '80s version of chain letters, which I never enjoyed and never participated in. I also do not enjoy anything that makes me write the word blog in my issues, we all know how I feel about that vomitous word. However, it gets me off my ass and makes me write something....rather than what I was doing....contemplating slitting my wrists if I see one more nefarious snowflake. Since it's not stopped snowing in days and the snowflakes have piled up to many feet of snow, I was clearly not inclined to do much about that either.
I guess the point is to write 6 things about myself that are not well known. How Good Joo and Bad Joo could write that they love to swear for answer number one is well beyond me as that is the first thing everyone learns about them. I too, am pretty much an open book except for a few of the more dramatic things in my life which I certainly am not going to get into in my issues, ever. So I will do my best to come up with something at least a little off the wall, if not completely unknown. Also, to further my point with the whole chain letter thing, I absolutely refuse to pass this on. That's my stand for the day.
1. Ice freaks me out. I hate touching it and I won't let a cube touch my teeth or mouth. I don't mind it in a McDonalds cup, I can't see it and the straw won't let it into my mouth. If I have to get cubes out for someone's drink I can force myself to do it, but it gives me the heebie jeebies, like scratching a chalkboard.
2. I'm a tee-totaler. I haven't had a single alcholic drink since I was 21 1/2 years old. Yes, for those of you that can add, that's just about 14 years. I was never a good drinker and after breaking my foot during a little shoving match at the bar and not knowing said foot was broken because I was so drunk, thus walking all over town on it and making it worse, I realized I might end up with a drinking problem if I didn't stop.
3. As my last item may have alerted you, I have a bit of a problem with becoming easily addicted to things. Like to the point of obsession. My current obsessions include, but are not at all limited to: loathing Michigan, Playmobil, thrift stores, Swiffering, hating Mattel, and staying away from any addictive legal or illegal type drugs including alcohol, cigarettes, and caffeinated sodas. And god help us if I get my hands on all 3 at once.
4. My left boob is bigger than my right, always has been, can't blame my kids for that one.
5. I played with Barbie dolls until I was 14 years old, which swiftly turned into the obsessive doll collecting that my husband now enjoys.
6. Cell phones stress me out. Mine is very simple and I haven't even mastered it yet. I've never texted anyone and I don't have any idea how or if my phone could even do it. I got one of the first "cell" phones. It was a bag phone and I got it back in 1996 from a company that doesn't even exist anymore. I rarely used it, but I kept it until 2000 just because it was easier than figuring out all the new cell phones. When I went in to replace it the sales guy had never even seen one before, he replaced it with a newer model, one that now would look huge, and I got a plan with no minutes because I had no intentions of learning how to use the new one. I kept that one until 2 years ago, I had maybe used it 3 times, when I got a Tracfone. I do use my new phone.....just not with enthusiasm. I just don't love a cell phone.
Well, that's my 6. I feel that this is a very long, thoughtful post, one which I should be proud of with as busy as I am and all the things I have to do. Of which I was doing none, but how can I really be expected to concentrate on my "to do" list when snow is piling up over my door? Every. Single. Day.
I guess the point is to write 6 things about myself that are not well known. How Good Joo and Bad Joo could write that they love to swear for answer number one is well beyond me as that is the first thing everyone learns about them. I too, am pretty much an open book except for a few of the more dramatic things in my life which I certainly am not going to get into in my issues, ever. So I will do my best to come up with something at least a little off the wall, if not completely unknown. Also, to further my point with the whole chain letter thing, I absolutely refuse to pass this on. That's my stand for the day.
1. Ice freaks me out. I hate touching it and I won't let a cube touch my teeth or mouth. I don't mind it in a McDonalds cup, I can't see it and the straw won't let it into my mouth. If I have to get cubes out for someone's drink I can force myself to do it, but it gives me the heebie jeebies, like scratching a chalkboard.
2. I'm a tee-totaler. I haven't had a single alcholic drink since I was 21 1/2 years old. Yes, for those of you that can add, that's just about 14 years. I was never a good drinker and after breaking my foot during a little shoving match at the bar and not knowing said foot was broken because I was so drunk, thus walking all over town on it and making it worse, I realized I might end up with a drinking problem if I didn't stop.
3. As my last item may have alerted you, I have a bit of a problem with becoming easily addicted to things. Like to the point of obsession. My current obsessions include, but are not at all limited to: loathing Michigan, Playmobil, thrift stores, Swiffering, hating Mattel, and staying away from any addictive legal or illegal type drugs including alcohol, cigarettes, and caffeinated sodas. And god help us if I get my hands on all 3 at once.
4. My left boob is bigger than my right, always has been, can't blame my kids for that one.
5. I played with Barbie dolls until I was 14 years old, which swiftly turned into the obsessive doll collecting that my husband now enjoys.
6. Cell phones stress me out. Mine is very simple and I haven't even mastered it yet. I've never texted anyone and I don't have any idea how or if my phone could even do it. I got one of the first "cell" phones. It was a bag phone and I got it back in 1996 from a company that doesn't even exist anymore. I rarely used it, but I kept it until 2000 just because it was easier than figuring out all the new cell phones. When I went in to replace it the sales guy had never even seen one before, he replaced it with a newer model, one that now would look huge, and I got a plan with no minutes because I had no intentions of learning how to use the new one. I kept that one until 2 years ago, I had maybe used it 3 times, when I got a Tracfone. I do use my new phone.....just not with enthusiasm. I just don't love a cell phone.
Well, that's my 6. I feel that this is a very long, thoughtful post, one which I should be proud of with as busy as I am and all the things I have to do. Of which I was doing none, but how can I really be expected to concentrate on my "to do" list when snow is piling up over my door? Every. Single. Day.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
All Of The Joy, None Of The Work
My kids are about at the very perfect ages. I'm really truly enjoying them. They're not teens yet so I don't have to worry about mouthing off, dating, talking forever on the phone, and driving. At the same time though, they're old enough to do most things on their own, which I love. A couple of years ago, when they were just 5 and 8, they first decided they wanted to use their own money to start buying Christmas gifts for family. It's become a tradition for them. My oldest really gets into it. This year she is trying to get the most for her money, but at the same time, buy completely fabulous gifts for everyone on her list. She's so cute about it and this is what she said to her Papa last weekend:
AJ: Papa, what do you want for Christmas this year?
Papa: Well, I love chocolate, you know. You can get me chocolate like last year.
AJ: But papa, I want to get you something that you will keep forever.
Isn't that adorable? So much cuter than the Christmas she was one and we had to call poison control because she was eating grandma's poinsettias.
AJ: Papa, what do you want for Christmas this year?
Papa: Well, I love chocolate, you know. You can get me chocolate like last year.
AJ: But papa, I want to get you something that you will keep forever.
Isn't that adorable? So much cuter than the Christmas she was one and we had to call poison control because she was eating grandma's poinsettias.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Perhaps I Need A New Hobby
I've noticed now that DJ is in 1st grade, he's really expanded his vocabulary. He likes to use words like vehicle, eventually, perhaps, challenging, predator, dehydrated, and imcrebidal on a regular basis. He also doesn't go to school, he goes to Excel Charter Academy. His favorite bird isn't an eagle, it's an American Bald Eagle. Apparently now he has decided that just naming colors by basic names is unacceptable, they must be named in the proper shade and he has no qualms about correcting his own mom to prove it. Case in point:
Me: Ok DJ, we need to get all the puzzle pieces turned over, that means get rid of all the green.
DJ: Mommy, I believe you mean churk boys.
Me: What did you just call me?
DJ: We have to get whid of churk boys.
Me: Excuse me? Your dad and I have never promoted violence, swearing yes, violence, no.
DJ Holding up a puzzle piece: These aren't green mommy, they're churk boys.
Me: Oooooooh, yes, true they are rather turquoise aren't they?
Once I "got" it, I found it quite hilarious and I tried every type of prompting I could to get him to say it as many times as possible Sunday afternoon.
Me: What color are these puzzle pieces again, DJ?
Me: DJ, would you say this is a green bag, maybe blue, or more.......what do you think?
Me: Tell grandma what color you get when you mix blue with green. Now tell papa.
Me: DJ, can you bring me that paper over there? No not the pink one, not the yellow one, that other color.....umm....you know.
Because really Readers, it was tough work getting my kids talking and then through their speech impediments, I think I've earned the right to laugh about it once in a while. Or all damn day, whatever.
Me: Ok DJ, we need to get all the puzzle pieces turned over, that means get rid of all the green.
DJ: Mommy, I believe you mean churk boys.
Me: What did you just call me?
DJ: We have to get whid of churk boys.
Me: Excuse me? Your dad and I have never promoted violence, swearing yes, violence, no.
DJ Holding up a puzzle piece: These aren't green mommy, they're churk boys.
Me: Oooooooh, yes, true they are rather turquoise aren't they?
Once I "got" it, I found it quite hilarious and I tried every type of prompting I could to get him to say it as many times as possible Sunday afternoon.
Me: What color are these puzzle pieces again, DJ?
Me: DJ, would you say this is a green bag, maybe blue, or more.......what do you think?
Me: Tell grandma what color you get when you mix blue with green. Now tell papa.
Me: DJ, can you bring me that paper over there? No not the pink one, not the yellow one, that other color.....umm....you know.
Because really Readers, it was tough work getting my kids talking and then through their speech impediments, I think I've earned the right to laugh about it once in a while. Or all damn day, whatever.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Some Propaganda From China
Recently, my neighbor, China, left me a comment on the other site I was on regarding my child's unemployment plight. Reread here. Here is what he had to say:
China 12/10/2008 08:26:34
I'll have you know that I paid each girl $3 to rake my backyard. Not some piddly 50 cents. I think paying the higher fee for the backyard allows me the freedom to use my 500 horsepower leaf blower on the front!
Oh China, why do you have to fill my issues with your propaganda? I think we've already established my superior patriotism....one look at my prematurely dormant, brown yard should've done it. Between you and Mexico down the street with his new snowblower, blowing everyone's snow around just for the fun it, thus ruining the girls' chance at a shoveling business, how's an entrepreneur supposed to get a good start? Crushing dreams China....crushing dreams.
Currently, I'm either having to purchase my child's whims and fancies for her, or else she's running around the house trying to get me to pay her for various household tasks. So, clearly, I'm out of money, China. Plan on finding her some jobs around your house because I'm fresh out....she doesn't do laundry or toilets.....or weekends. Or playtimes, or when she's feeling sick...or hungry.....
China 12/10/2008 08:26:34
I'll have you know that I paid each girl $3 to rake my backyard. Not some piddly 50 cents. I think paying the higher fee for the backyard allows me the freedom to use my 500 horsepower leaf blower on the front!
Oh China, why do you have to fill my issues with your propaganda? I think we've already established my superior patriotism....one look at my prematurely dormant, brown yard should've done it. Between you and Mexico down the street with his new snowblower, blowing everyone's snow around just for the fun it, thus ruining the girls' chance at a shoveling business, how's an entrepreneur supposed to get a good start? Crushing dreams China....crushing dreams.
Currently, I'm either having to purchase my child's whims and fancies for her, or else she's running around the house trying to get me to pay her for various household tasks. So, clearly, I'm out of money, China. Plan on finding her some jobs around your house because I'm fresh out....she doesn't do laundry or toilets.....or weekends. Or playtimes, or when she's feeling sick...or hungry.....
Killing Me With Unbelieveable Cuteness
Can I just say that if I don't own, I mean if my kids don't own, every piece of Playmobil ever made, my life will never be complete. There should be a law against this kind of cuteness....or at least a $100 per week spending limit on their site. After all, that would be the reponsible thing to do....
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Open For Business....For Awhile
I've officially moved all my old posts to my new blogspot page and I'm ready to begin! I'd have done this long ago, but my brain is so technologically-challenged that it took me a few weeks to figure out how to set it all up....and then about another 2 to come up with a name. Of course lots of new challenges await me, like how in the hell do I put on pictures and when I do, where will they go? Do I have to figure that out too? Because if I do, maybe I wasn't ready to move here yet. I should've stayed on Comcast where I can't do anything at all...except write. Oh well, I'll give this a try anyway, if there are just too many creative choices and it overwhelms me I guess I'll just move everything back over to Comcast. Cause moving stuff back and forth every two days or so.....that's fun.
Back To Ebay
Originally posted: 12/10/2008
Well, there ya go. I'm back on ebay, just like that. I hate that I need ebay. Currently, I'm surrounded by a sea of pink though and I have no other way to wade through it than by hopefully finding it a new home on ebay. I'd live with the sea of pink though.....if my kids weren't so damn cute.
Can I help it that everything they want for Christmas I want to find and give them? Can I help it that I was behaving so well and not using the credit card and then one visit to playmobil.com, quickly followed by a visit to utoypia.com, undid all the good I did? How can I not buy the cutest little hot dog stand, or vending machine, or butcher shop, or produce market, or post office you've ever seen? I don't make the rules about playmobil being too cute to resist, someone should do something about that. Seriously. I'm looking everywhere for something I can sell that's going to go for big money because there is a new playmobil pyramid that my daughter shouldn't have to live without. Granted she doesn't know that it exists, because it's a German exclusive, but I know it exists and trust me, she can't live without it. Where I'm going to come up with $200 for it, followed by another $100 for the completely adorable adobe style house, I just don't know. Not to mention the fact that all the shopping I did (and want to do) is completely unnecessary because I'm soooo done with them.
Some of my crazy playmobil shopping arrived today, I'm quite upset that I have to wait until Christmas to give it to the kids. I know they are going to go crazy when they see it, and quite frankly, so will I. And let's face it, I'll spend big bucks with playmobil happily because the stuff is darling, high-quality, unique, and most of all.....not made by Mattel!
Well, there ya go. I'm back on ebay, just like that. I hate that I need ebay. Currently, I'm surrounded by a sea of pink though and I have no other way to wade through it than by hopefully finding it a new home on ebay. I'd live with the sea of pink though.....if my kids weren't so damn cute.
Can I help it that everything they want for Christmas I want to find and give them? Can I help it that I was behaving so well and not using the credit card and then one visit to playmobil.com, quickly followed by a visit to utoypia.com, undid all the good I did? How can I not buy the cutest little hot dog stand, or vending machine, or butcher shop, or produce market, or post office you've ever seen? I don't make the rules about playmobil being too cute to resist, someone should do something about that. Seriously. I'm looking everywhere for something I can sell that's going to go for big money because there is a new playmobil pyramid that my daughter shouldn't have to live without. Granted she doesn't know that it exists, because it's a German exclusive, but I know it exists and trust me, she can't live without it. Where I'm going to come up with $200 for it, followed by another $100 for the completely adorable adobe style house, I just don't know. Not to mention the fact that all the shopping I did (and want to do) is completely unnecessary because I'm soooo done with them.
Some of my crazy playmobil shopping arrived today, I'm quite upset that I have to wait until Christmas to give it to the kids. I know they are going to go crazy when they see it, and quite frankly, so will I. And let's face it, I'll spend big bucks with playmobil happily because the stuff is darling, high-quality, unique, and most of all.....not made by Mattel!
Is It a Snow Day Yet??
Originally posted: 12/10/2008
For 2 days it's been alluded to that we're going to have a snow day. The teachers have been saying it, the weather people, everyone....and for 2 days, we've had school. Much to the disappointment of my children and frankly me as well. I would love a day of wandering around in my pajamas and robe all day reading a book and watching the Christmas lights, clearly, I mean, who wouldn't. We have crap weather and it's freezing...why can't we just have a snow day because it's dismal and grey?? Well, this being the 2nd day of the hoped for snow day and still nothing, my son was ready to take matters into his own hands.
Me: Time to get dressed.
Me: Hurry up!
Me: Hello?
DJ: *Hack* *Cough* *Hack* *Fake Cough*.....
Me: I'm getting your toothbrush ready.
DJ: (More carrying on)
Me: You have Art today!!
DJ (pathetic): Mommy....I think you need to take my temperature.
Me: Why? You're fine.
DJ: I'm so warm, I'm sick.
Finally he did get up and get off to school, he learned the hard way, temperatures don't lie. Now he's relaxing, doing what he would have wanted to do if he had been allowed to stay home all day, in his words, "Mommy, I'm going to go home and lay on the couch and watch Indeejana Jones." Nothing like snuggling under your blanket with some animal crackers and good ol' Indeejana.
For 2 days it's been alluded to that we're going to have a snow day. The teachers have been saying it, the weather people, everyone....and for 2 days, we've had school. Much to the disappointment of my children and frankly me as well. I would love a day of wandering around in my pajamas and robe all day reading a book and watching the Christmas lights, clearly, I mean, who wouldn't. We have crap weather and it's freezing...why can't we just have a snow day because it's dismal and grey?? Well, this being the 2nd day of the hoped for snow day and still nothing, my son was ready to take matters into his own hands.
Me: Time to get dressed.
Me: Hurry up!
Me: Hello?
DJ: *Hack* *Cough* *Hack* *Fake Cough*.....
Me: I'm getting your toothbrush ready.
DJ: (More carrying on)
Me: You have Art today!!
DJ (pathetic): Mommy....I think you need to take my temperature.
Me: Why? You're fine.
DJ: I'm so warm, I'm sick.
Finally he did get up and get off to school, he learned the hard way, temperatures don't lie. Now he's relaxing, doing what he would have wanted to do if he had been allowed to stay home all day, in his words, "Mommy, I'm going to go home and lay on the couch and watch Indeejana Jones." Nothing like snuggling under your blanket with some animal crackers and good ol' Indeejana.
The Big Bullies
Originally posted: 12/04/2008
Like I really needed one more issue to write about in my Issues. Thanks a lot Mattel. Seems they have won their lawsuit and Bratz are going to be pulled off the shelves after the holidays. I'm quite angry, Mattel is a huge bully in the toy industry. They shut down my favorite magazine, ruined another favorite magazine until they too stopped production, got Kenner to stop making Darci back in the day, and countless other dolls I'm sure. I mean, they even sue singers who sing about Barbie, and won't allow people that work for them to go by the nickname Barbie. The fact that Bratz will be removed from store shelves doesn't change the fact that Mattel's dolls are passe and the accessories cheap and easily broken. Here is a copy of the letter I just sent to them.
I just went to TRU yesterday and purchased my last Barbie Silver Label Collector dolls ever. I'm done with Barbie and I'm done with Mattel. No more American Girls, no more Fisher Price, no more Hot Wheels, and definitely no more Barbie. I'm sure you're getting a lot of feedback about the Bratz trial. I just want to add my 2 cents and let you know that I'm one of the many that has been happy having a choice for the past few years. I'll be making all my purchases from non-Mattel toy companies from here on out. I think you've failed to see that you aren't going to be gaining business, my daughter isn't going to like Barbie because Bratz aren't available, instead you just made her mom mad so that I won't be buying anything from you. Good business tactics...I think not.
With any luck MGA will win on appeal or will be able to manufacture a similar doll. I feel so sorry for my daughter and for any other little girls that love Bratz. She didn't grow up thinking Brat was a bad word, she just thinks it's a doll's name, it has only good connotations for her, all positive. Positive from the hours of play, to the way her room looks so beautiful filled with dolls and houses and furniture. Even the simple fact that she is 10 and still playing daily with dolls when it used to be standard for little girls to throw their dolls out around the age of 8. Oh Mattel, you just don't get it, and I don't have hopes that you will. We need choice, you need competition. Step up your game, make something better so that we come back to you. Otherwise your product, in the words of my son with the "r" problem.....is just a whip off.
Like I really needed one more issue to write about in my Issues. Thanks a lot Mattel. Seems they have won their lawsuit and Bratz are going to be pulled off the shelves after the holidays. I'm quite angry, Mattel is a huge bully in the toy industry. They shut down my favorite magazine, ruined another favorite magazine until they too stopped production, got Kenner to stop making Darci back in the day, and countless other dolls I'm sure. I mean, they even sue singers who sing about Barbie, and won't allow people that work for them to go by the nickname Barbie. The fact that Bratz will be removed from store shelves doesn't change the fact that Mattel's dolls are passe and the accessories cheap and easily broken. Here is a copy of the letter I just sent to them.
I just went to TRU yesterday and purchased my last Barbie Silver Label Collector dolls ever. I'm done with Barbie and I'm done with Mattel. No more American Girls, no more Fisher Price, no more Hot Wheels, and definitely no more Barbie. I'm sure you're getting a lot of feedback about the Bratz trial. I just want to add my 2 cents and let you know that I'm one of the many that has been happy having a choice for the past few years. I'll be making all my purchases from non-Mattel toy companies from here on out. I think you've failed to see that you aren't going to be gaining business, my daughter isn't going to like Barbie because Bratz aren't available, instead you just made her mom mad so that I won't be buying anything from you. Good business tactics...I think not.
With any luck MGA will win on appeal or will be able to manufacture a similar doll. I feel so sorry for my daughter and for any other little girls that love Bratz. She didn't grow up thinking Brat was a bad word, she just thinks it's a doll's name, it has only good connotations for her, all positive. Positive from the hours of play, to the way her room looks so beautiful filled with dolls and houses and furniture. Even the simple fact that she is 10 and still playing daily with dolls when it used to be standard for little girls to throw their dolls out around the age of 8. Oh Mattel, you just don't get it, and I don't have hopes that you will. We need choice, you need competition. Step up your game, make something better so that we come back to you. Otherwise your product, in the words of my son with the "r" problem.....is just a whip off.
An Ambitious Day
Originally posted: 12/04/2008
Well, it snowed today. Dreadful, hateful snow. My ambition for the day was to stay in my pajamas and robe for as much of the day as possible. I did manage until about 3:00, then I decided the kid's friends may come over, perhaps I should throw on a pair of jeans. I called my girlfriend just to let her know that after this weekend, she would not be seeing me again until probably April. I will be hibernating, I will not leave the house except for groceries and taking my son to school. We discussed, while on the phone, that Michigan is one of the most unhealthy states in the union. Duh. Who wants to get out and do something with weather like this? Hmmm...let's see this is our 3rd Lake Effect Snow Advisory warning of the week, is it not? Definitely not enticing me out. Six months of being holed up in our houses and we Michiganders emerge either fatter or pregnant. I also managed to make supper for my family today. A healthy meal of Hamburger Helper. Don't judge me Readers, you know you all give up sometimes too. I'm far too depressed to think about cooking something that requires more than measuring out a cup of milk and water. And anyway, I need to save my time for baking something chocolate to maintain my fat roll...it keeps me warm.
Well, it snowed today. Dreadful, hateful snow. My ambition for the day was to stay in my pajamas and robe for as much of the day as possible. I did manage until about 3:00, then I decided the kid's friends may come over, perhaps I should throw on a pair of jeans. I called my girlfriend just to let her know that after this weekend, she would not be seeing me again until probably April. I will be hibernating, I will not leave the house except for groceries and taking my son to school. We discussed, while on the phone, that Michigan is one of the most unhealthy states in the union. Duh. Who wants to get out and do something with weather like this? Hmmm...let's see this is our 3rd Lake Effect Snow Advisory warning of the week, is it not? Definitely not enticing me out. Six months of being holed up in our houses and we Michiganders emerge either fatter or pregnant. I also managed to make supper for my family today. A healthy meal of Hamburger Helper. Don't judge me Readers, you know you all give up sometimes too. I'm far too depressed to think about cooking something that requires more than measuring out a cup of milk and water. And anyway, I need to save my time for baking something chocolate to maintain my fat roll...it keeps me warm.
Writing My To Do List
Originally posted: 12/03/2008
Ah Readers, I had a fantastic sleep last night. I dreamt way more than usual. I woke up refreshed and ready to start my day by writing up a "To Do" list. Here it is in numerical order of importance:
1. Brad Pitt
2. Brad Pitt
3. Brad Pitt
Three times should be good....it was in the dream anyway. Why this dream on this night, I don't know, but I stand by the list. Don't act like I'm alone in this, you know you're all feeling it. God knows I love my husband......and I sure do love a good dream too. Sleep, definitely not a waste of my time last night.
Ah Readers, I had a fantastic sleep last night. I dreamt way more than usual. I woke up refreshed and ready to start my day by writing up a "To Do" list. Here it is in numerical order of importance:
1. Brad Pitt
2. Brad Pitt
3. Brad Pitt
Three times should be good....it was in the dream anyway. Why this dream on this night, I don't know, but I stand by the list. Don't act like I'm alone in this, you know you're all feeling it. God knows I love my husband......and I sure do love a good dream too. Sleep, definitely not a waste of my time last night.
I Never Said My Kid Was A Genius
Originally posted: 12/02/2008
Here I am, playing a lively game of Spider Solitaire on the computer when my oldest child, AJ, walks into my office. Let us just keep in mind that she's 10.
Me, exasperated: (deep sigh) What?
AJ, hand over her eye: I just spilled chocolate milk in my eye.
Much laughter and giggling.
AJ, laughter gone, all serious: Mom, what do I do to make it feel better?
More laughter.
Me: I don't know, just rub it I guess. Then go find yourself a sippy cup.
Here I am, playing a lively game of Spider Solitaire on the computer when my oldest child, AJ, walks into my office. Let us just keep in mind that she's 10.
Me, exasperated: (deep sigh) What?
AJ, hand over her eye: I just spilled chocolate milk in my eye.
Much laughter and giggling.
AJ, laughter gone, all serious: Mom, what do I do to make it feel better?
More laughter.
Me: I don't know, just rub it I guess. Then go find yourself a sippy cup.
A Thanksgiving Story
Originally posted: 11/27/2008
To start my story out....a little quick side story.....My son, for some reason has this habit of picking his own nicknames. One day he sat at the table and said, "Mommy, what's my nickname? Is it Big D?" I ask him why on earth that would be his nickname as no one has ever, ever called him that. Well, it seems he just liked the sound. The neighborhood thought it was so funny that in fact it did stick with a few of the neighborhood families! Now he's decided that he thinks he wants everyone calling him DJ. He told his class at school that everyone can call him DJ, certain days he tells his sister he'll only answer her if she calls him by his nickname....DJ. I mean the kid is really trying and it's just not sticking. So for the purposes of our Thanksgiving story, I'll give him the honor of calling him DJ. He can't read yet so he'll never know, but oh well.
Yesterday was First Grade Feast Day at DJ's school. Oh it was wonderous with homemade placemats, a plate full of food including pumpkin pie with Cool Whip, full cups of cider, and a huge piece of long yellow paper down the entire first grade hallway laid out with each child's placemat and plate of food. Darling, just like the first colonists. So one of the first grade teachers finds a microphone and announces what he's thankful for and says that he's going to give the microphone to the first child and have them pass it down so that each and every first grader can announce one thing they too are thankful for. DJ's eyes lock with mine across the yellow paper, he knows. He knows exactly what he's thankful for and he's ready. And so it begins:
Child: I'm thankful for my family.
Child: I'm thankful for my dog.
Child: I'm thankful for my sister.
Child: I'm thankful for the Lord.
Child: I'm thankful for shelter.
Child: I'm thankful for the baby my mommy had last night.
Parents: Awwwwwww.
Child: I'm thankful for my school.
Child: I'm thankful for my teacher.
Teacher: I'm thankful for my entire first grade class:
And so it goes readers, to nearly half of the entire first grade class of 75 students, until finally we get to DJ. He takes the microphone stares down at it solemnly, and speaks very clearly, "I'm thankful for my Gameboy." Readers, he's not to be swayed by all these do-gooders, he knows what he's thankful for and it's his Gameboy, the only honest one of the bunch I tell ya. The only one to get a laugh as well. That's my kid, always wanting to be the center of attention and he surely was. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
To start my story out....a little quick side story.....My son, for some reason has this habit of picking his own nicknames. One day he sat at the table and said, "Mommy, what's my nickname? Is it Big D?" I ask him why on earth that would be his nickname as no one has ever, ever called him that. Well, it seems he just liked the sound. The neighborhood thought it was so funny that in fact it did stick with a few of the neighborhood families! Now he's decided that he thinks he wants everyone calling him DJ. He told his class at school that everyone can call him DJ, certain days he tells his sister he'll only answer her if she calls him by his nickname....DJ. I mean the kid is really trying and it's just not sticking. So for the purposes of our Thanksgiving story, I'll give him the honor of calling him DJ. He can't read yet so he'll never know, but oh well.
Yesterday was First Grade Feast Day at DJ's school. Oh it was wonderous with homemade placemats, a plate full of food including pumpkin pie with Cool Whip, full cups of cider, and a huge piece of long yellow paper down the entire first grade hallway laid out with each child's placemat and plate of food. Darling, just like the first colonists. So one of the first grade teachers finds a microphone and announces what he's thankful for and says that he's going to give the microphone to the first child and have them pass it down so that each and every first grader can announce one thing they too are thankful for. DJ's eyes lock with mine across the yellow paper, he knows. He knows exactly what he's thankful for and he's ready. And so it begins:
Child: I'm thankful for my family.
Child: I'm thankful for my dog.
Child: I'm thankful for my sister.
Child: I'm thankful for the Lord.
Child: I'm thankful for shelter.
Child: I'm thankful for the baby my mommy had last night.
Parents: Awwwwwww.
Child: I'm thankful for my school.
Child: I'm thankful for my teacher.
Teacher: I'm thankful for my entire first grade class:
And so it goes readers, to nearly half of the entire first grade class of 75 students, until finally we get to DJ. He takes the microphone stares down at it solemnly, and speaks very clearly, "I'm thankful for my Gameboy." Readers, he's not to be swayed by all these do-gooders, he knows what he's thankful for and it's his Gameboy, the only honest one of the bunch I tell ya. The only one to get a laugh as well. That's my kid, always wanting to be the center of attention and he surely was. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Debbie Does Dolls
Originally posted: 11/21/2008
No time for much in the way of posting issues. I'm getting ready for the big doll show! Happily this is much more professional than the flea market, there shouldn't be any exposed body parts, I hope...after all, it's held in a very conservative city, I don't think they believe in belly buttons and ass crack. There are always characters that we have to contend with, believe me. What my mom and I have noticed in the doll world is that in order to be a doll dealer, you should be named Debbie, or some form of Deborah/Debra. It's so strange, there are tons of them. If there is a doll dealer that we don't know their name we can safely guess Debbie and be correct about 25% of the time. We have to come up with a code for all the Debbies in order to keep them straight. We have Debbie, DeBRA, Little Debbie, Debbie Pookie, DebbiesCrafts.....you get the idea. We meet a lot of people at shows every year. Sometimes it's hard to remember names. We have to have nicknames for people though so that we can talk about going to see them or calling them, since we either may not know names or have forgotten them with only seeing these people once a year sometimes. For example. there are two women that are dealers from out of state, they happen to look very similar, though they're just friends. They are "Faux Sisters". There is also a pair of very experienced dealers that are sisters, so they're just "The Sisters". There's also, "The Old Ones", "Odd Mom", "Big Hair G", "Grey Braid", "Dotdoll", and so many more. For antique shows we even have to have more because there are regular dealers as well. There is one guy who has blue stars tatooed straight across his forehead and on his arms....it's a good look especially when coupled with his dreadlocks and strong body odor. We named him StarSunMoon. Star for short, as in, "I need to go up on the north end by Star's booth in order to see if Weird One is here yet". Does this give you an inkling of why I want to do this for a living? I mean, how could I live a full and happy life without knowing people like StarSunMoon, Faux Sisters, and Grey Braid. For sure it couldn't be done.
No time for much in the way of posting issues. I'm getting ready for the big doll show! Happily this is much more professional than the flea market, there shouldn't be any exposed body parts, I hope...after all, it's held in a very conservative city, I don't think they believe in belly buttons and ass crack. There are always characters that we have to contend with, believe me. What my mom and I have noticed in the doll world is that in order to be a doll dealer, you should be named Debbie, or some form of Deborah/Debra. It's so strange, there are tons of them. If there is a doll dealer that we don't know their name we can safely guess Debbie and be correct about 25% of the time. We have to come up with a code for all the Debbies in order to keep them straight. We have Debbie, DeBRA, Little Debbie, Debbie Pookie, DebbiesCrafts.....you get the idea. We meet a lot of people at shows every year. Sometimes it's hard to remember names. We have to have nicknames for people though so that we can talk about going to see them or calling them, since we either may not know names or have forgotten them with only seeing these people once a year sometimes. For example. there are two women that are dealers from out of state, they happen to look very similar, though they're just friends. They are "Faux Sisters". There is also a pair of very experienced dealers that are sisters, so they're just "The Sisters". There's also, "The Old Ones", "Odd Mom", "Big Hair G", "Grey Braid", "Dotdoll", and so many more. For antique shows we even have to have more because there are regular dealers as well. There is one guy who has blue stars tatooed straight across his forehead and on his arms....it's a good look especially when coupled with his dreadlocks and strong body odor. We named him StarSunMoon. Star for short, as in, "I need to go up on the north end by Star's booth in order to see if Weird One is here yet". Does this give you an inkling of why I want to do this for a living? I mean, how could I live a full and happy life without knowing people like StarSunMoon, Faux Sisters, and Grey Braid. For sure it couldn't be done.
What Could Be More Than Ridiculous...Unfathomable!
Originally posted: 11/18/2008
Unfathomable. Another absolutely splendid word. Let's discuss. One of the best parts of unfathomable, aside from the actual pronunciation of it, is the fact that few people use the word fathomable, the prefix form, unfathomable, is far more popular. I think it really packs a punch to exactly how ridiculous something really is. So, here are the current reasons for discussing unfathomable:
1. My youngest child is nearly 7. That would be my baby, only he is no longer a baby and that is unfathomable. My children are so far past baby at this point that I can't even pull off "I was a child bride and I'm only 28.", for too much longer.
2. The fact that my husband asked me if I had plans for the weekend. This is unfathomable as we are not only celebrating my "baby's" birthday and have been discussing it for 2 months, but I have my doll show which I've been planning for about 4 long months now. Just check my website bright light! Good lord.
3. November is over half over and winter is upon us. That is unfathomable simply because I thought with enough positive thinking I'd be able to ward off all cold fronts, blizzards, and other gloom and doom.
4. Again, let me reiterate, winter is upon us. That's right....November, December, January, February, March, April......and sometimes May. We're not naming vowels here folks, this is serious freezing my ass off shit. Could it be any more unfathomable?
Do you see my point, do you see how ridiculous these examples are and they sound much more so, all thanks to unfathomable. Keep up the good work Websters.
Unfathomable. Another absolutely splendid word. Let's discuss. One of the best parts of unfathomable, aside from the actual pronunciation of it, is the fact that few people use the word fathomable, the prefix form, unfathomable, is far more popular. I think it really packs a punch to exactly how ridiculous something really is. So, here are the current reasons for discussing unfathomable:
1. My youngest child is nearly 7. That would be my baby, only he is no longer a baby and that is unfathomable. My children are so far past baby at this point that I can't even pull off "I was a child bride and I'm only 28.", for too much longer.
2. The fact that my husband asked me if I had plans for the weekend. This is unfathomable as we are not only celebrating my "baby's" birthday and have been discussing it for 2 months, but I have my doll show which I've been planning for about 4 long months now. Just check my website bright light! Good lord.
3. November is over half over and winter is upon us. That is unfathomable simply because I thought with enough positive thinking I'd be able to ward off all cold fronts, blizzards, and other gloom and doom.
4. Again, let me reiterate, winter is upon us. That's right....November, December, January, February, March, April......and sometimes May. We're not naming vowels here folks, this is serious freezing my ass off shit. Could it be any more unfathomable?
Do you see my point, do you see how ridiculous these examples are and they sound much more so, all thanks to unfathomable. Keep up the good work Websters.
Add One More To The Unemployment Rolls
Originally posted: 11/17/2008
Well, my child is quite the entrepreneur, she takes after her mom I've gotta say. She and the 2 little girls across the street have started a business, excuse me, "bisnis", raking leaves in the neighborhood. Quite smart they are....or are they? They started out charging a quarter per girl! Their rates went up quite a bit by the time they got to my house. I got screwed 2 ways, I had to wait until last and then I had to pay the high price. That's what I get for supporting my kid's work ethic. Anyhu, they actually got 50 cents a piece for their first job and they barely finished picking up the last leaf before they were onto the next job, where they made $2.50 apiece! They were each making $3-5 per night for a few nights there! They had a few days off because of rain and busy schedules. When they next picked up their rakes to do another neighbor's house I went outside to see how they were getting on and encourage them to do their best to get even more jobs. It was then that I heard a sound....and lo and behold as I'm standing out there, the dad of the two little girlfriends begins to do his own front yard with a leaf blower. What? This dad is like China.....taking the work away from good, hard working Americans! Him and his highly efficient leaf blower. Ah China, how can my baby compete with that efficiency and speed? And worst yet, you know who pays my child's unemployment benefits when there is no work to be found, that'd be me. Geez, all she wants is a quarter for chrissake. It's simple Obama-nomics.....(or something, really I just wanted to say Obama-nomics again.) **Just as a sidenote, the girls did get paid previously by China to do his backyard. Apparently he was in too big a hurry to wait for them to do his front yard as well. Unlike me who waited for them until the snow was imminent and the decaying leaves were a thick carpet turning my grass prematurely brown. Could I be any more patriotic?
Well, my child is quite the entrepreneur, she takes after her mom I've gotta say. She and the 2 little girls across the street have started a business, excuse me, "bisnis", raking leaves in the neighborhood. Quite smart they are....or are they? They started out charging a quarter per girl! Their rates went up quite a bit by the time they got to my house. I got screwed 2 ways, I had to wait until last and then I had to pay the high price. That's what I get for supporting my kid's work ethic. Anyhu, they actually got 50 cents a piece for their first job and they barely finished picking up the last leaf before they were onto the next job, where they made $2.50 apiece! They were each making $3-5 per night for a few nights there! They had a few days off because of rain and busy schedules. When they next picked up their rakes to do another neighbor's house I went outside to see how they were getting on and encourage them to do their best to get even more jobs. It was then that I heard a sound....and lo and behold as I'm standing out there, the dad of the two little girlfriends begins to do his own front yard with a leaf blower. What? This dad is like China.....taking the work away from good, hard working Americans! Him and his highly efficient leaf blower. Ah China, how can my baby compete with that efficiency and speed? And worst yet, you know who pays my child's unemployment benefits when there is no work to be found, that'd be me. Geez, all she wants is a quarter for chrissake. It's simple Obama-nomics.....(or something, really I just wanted to say Obama-nomics again.) **Just as a sidenote, the girls did get paid previously by China to do his backyard. Apparently he was in too big a hurry to wait for them to do his front yard as well. Unlike me who waited for them until the snow was imminent and the decaying leaves were a thick carpet turning my grass prematurely brown. Could I be any more patriotic?
3 More Splendid Words
Originally posted: 11/17/2008
I just really need to write this one quick thing. I've mentioned previously my son's love of singing She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain, in Louis Armstrong mode or no, he loves to sing it. The final verse says, "We'll all be singing hallelujah when she comes." Well, that's a bit of a tongue twister for the little guy, words with 3 or more syllables are especially tough for kids with speech issues. Anyhu, he sings it "halleloola". It's cuter than crap and I absolutely refuse to correct it. Just like I won't correct "hamgabur" or "imcrebidal". As in, "The size of that hamgabur is imcrebidal, mommy!" Halleloola.
I just really need to write this one quick thing. I've mentioned previously my son's love of singing She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain, in Louis Armstrong mode or no, he loves to sing it. The final verse says, "We'll all be singing hallelujah when she comes." Well, that's a bit of a tongue twister for the little guy, words with 3 or more syllables are especially tough for kids with speech issues. Anyhu, he sings it "halleloola". It's cuter than crap and I absolutely refuse to correct it. Just like I won't correct "hamgabur" or "imcrebidal". As in, "The size of that hamgabur is imcrebidal, mommy!" Halleloola.
My New Best Word
Originally posted: 11/12/2008
Since I've mentioned words I love to say in my last Issue post, I'm going to continue with a brand new word that I love to say, Obama-nomics! Pretty much the best made up word ever, much better than a certain ugly 4-letter "b" word. Just say Obama-nomics a couple of times, it rolls right off the tongue, I try to say it at least twice a day. Usually in the shower so people don't think I'm completely mental just saying Obama-nomics randomly at the grocery store or something. Reagan-omics was pretty good, but you certainly didn't hear about a Clinton-omics, or Bush-nomics. Hello, no ring to them at all. But Obama-nomics, god, based on that alone the man was destined to be president, we really didn't need a vote. Just say McCain-omics.....the man hadn't a prayer. I'm going to go now so I can figure out 2 Obama-nomics sentences that I can use in everyday conversation.
Since I've mentioned words I love to say in my last Issue post, I'm going to continue with a brand new word that I love to say, Obama-nomics! Pretty much the best made up word ever, much better than a certain ugly 4-letter "b" word. Just say Obama-nomics a couple of times, it rolls right off the tongue, I try to say it at least twice a day. Usually in the shower so people don't think I'm completely mental just saying Obama-nomics randomly at the grocery store or something. Reagan-omics was pretty good, but you certainly didn't hear about a Clinton-omics, or Bush-nomics. Hello, no ring to them at all. But Obama-nomics, god, based on that alone the man was destined to be president, we really didn't need a vote. Just say McCain-omics.....the man hadn't a prayer. I'm going to go now so I can figure out 2 Obama-nomics sentences that I can use in everyday conversation.
Now I Have Issues!
Originally posted: 11/09/2008
It's no secret, we all know I hate the word blog. I really do, and I don't use hate lightly, it's an ugly word and so is blog. I like words that feel good when you say them, and when you hear them you get a sense of what the word means. Like crisp, and fresh, insipid, zinger, splendid, and even chunk. All good words, say them and feel them in your mouth, you can feel what they mean. Plus they are just fun to say, I think we should all try to fit them into daily conversation much more often. "Oh Erika, let me have a chunk of that fresh pumpkin bread, it's just splendid!" Blog is ugly, it feels like regurgitation in your mouth. So from here on out, I am no longer going to refer to this as my blog. Anyone that does I will pretend as though I don't know what you are speaking of. I no longer have a blog.....I have Issues. I like it, it can be like magazine Issues or like, "I have Issues, and they are many." Or, "She's not a Mommy Blogger, she has Mommy Issues." However you want to interpret it is fine with me, the best part is that issues rhymes with tissues, another splendid word to say.
It's no secret, we all know I hate the word blog. I really do, and I don't use hate lightly, it's an ugly word and so is blog. I like words that feel good when you say them, and when you hear them you get a sense of what the word means. Like crisp, and fresh, insipid, zinger, splendid, and even chunk. All good words, say them and feel them in your mouth, you can feel what they mean. Plus they are just fun to say, I think we should all try to fit them into daily conversation much more often. "Oh Erika, let me have a chunk of that fresh pumpkin bread, it's just splendid!" Blog is ugly, it feels like regurgitation in your mouth. So from here on out, I am no longer going to refer to this as my blog. Anyone that does I will pretend as though I don't know what you are speaking of. I no longer have a blog.....I have Issues. I like it, it can be like magazine Issues or like, "I have Issues, and they are many." Or, "She's not a Mommy Blogger, she has Mommy Issues." However you want to interpret it is fine with me, the best part is that issues rhymes with tissues, another splendid word to say.
You Snucker You
Originally posted: 11/05/2008
I snort when I laugh. It just happens sometimes. I have one of those laughs that comes from down in my lungs so that I can't really breath and then I try to take a breath and I snort. Most people know that about me, I thought my kids did too. Then this weekend, something set me off, my little boy says crazy things, let's face it. And so my mom and the kids and I are in the car and I'm dying laughing and I had to breathe and I snorted. Loudly. So we're all still laughing and he says, "Who snuckered?" We're all like huh? "Come ooonn.....who snuckered? Someone did and it wasn't me. Someone snuckered you guys! Who?" What in the hell is a snucker?! Why's he gotta make up words? I'll tell you what, I'm not owning up to it. I'm not taking any chances, I don't know what he's talking about. It's just like when babies start talking/babbling and you reply with "yes" to them all the time, what a mistake, they may be telling you they plan to cry all night until you come and get them to sleep in bed with you. Whatever you do, do not reply to those babies with a yes until they speak in real words, otherwise, you're just asking for it. We can assume what my little boy means, but what if we do and in fact snucker means, "a sneaky sucker", or worse yet, what if it's, "a snide fu*ker". Just like we assume with those babies, we think they're babbling to us they love us so much and love their life and then they turn around and shit all over you and keep you up all night, oh those babies, they're sneaky suckers.
I snort when I laugh. It just happens sometimes. I have one of those laughs that comes from down in my lungs so that I can't really breath and then I try to take a breath and I snort. Most people know that about me, I thought my kids did too. Then this weekend, something set me off, my little boy says crazy things, let's face it. And so my mom and the kids and I are in the car and I'm dying laughing and I had to breathe and I snorted. Loudly. So we're all still laughing and he says, "Who snuckered?" We're all like huh? "Come ooonn.....who snuckered? Someone did and it wasn't me. Someone snuckered you guys! Who?" What in the hell is a snucker?! Why's he gotta make up words? I'll tell you what, I'm not owning up to it. I'm not taking any chances, I don't know what he's talking about. It's just like when babies start talking/babbling and you reply with "yes" to them all the time, what a mistake, they may be telling you they plan to cry all night until you come and get them to sleep in bed with you. Whatever you do, do not reply to those babies with a yes until they speak in real words, otherwise, you're just asking for it. We can assume what my little boy means, but what if we do and in fact snucker means, "a sneaky sucker", or worse yet, what if it's, "a snide fu*ker". Just like we assume with those babies, we think they're babbling to us they love us so much and love their life and then they turn around and shit all over you and keep you up all night, oh those babies, they're sneaky suckers.
We Don't Need No Stinkin' Wii
Originally posted: 10/23/2008
I've given my husband a lot of credit for the great strides that he's been taking since he turned 35. I have to tell you though, that some of things he does are decidedly illogical. Now, I will point out that I knew my husband liked really bad tv when we got married, it truly is a hobby for some people. One of his favorite shows was Jerry Springer. Another, Sally Jesse Raphael, and Maury too. There used to be a lot more bad daytime talk shows, these have all switched over to ridiculous people on court shows, actually, so ridiculous it's almost unbelievable. So my husband has switched to court shows as well. Admittedly, they are sometimes fun to watch, not all day mind you, but some of the judges are funny. He could truly watch these shows all day. His love of the bad reality tv has hit an all time low though. I thought it was bad when he was watching the poker tournaments, that was nothing compared to this. Now he's addicted to watching other people play video games against each other. Are you kidding me? Why is this even a show and could it possibly be any more mindless than that summary suggests? Reality tv has never been so low and how can they actually have a high enough rating to keep it on the air? Seriously....how? And the sad thing is, god forbid someone change the channel while he's watching it....he truly cares who wins! I can't take it....Judge Judy, Judge Alex, and Judge Brown, fine whatever, sometimes funny, usually entertaining, even a lesson sometimes, But what value can you get out of 2 people playing video games, neither of which is him. And then caring who wins. I'll tell you straight up Readers, if that's all it takes to entertain him, then I'm certainly not listening to him tell me he needs a Wii or some other such system, he can just go watch other people play. End of story.
I've given my husband a lot of credit for the great strides that he's been taking since he turned 35. I have to tell you though, that some of things he does are decidedly illogical. Now, I will point out that I knew my husband liked really bad tv when we got married, it truly is a hobby for some people. One of his favorite shows was Jerry Springer. Another, Sally Jesse Raphael, and Maury too. There used to be a lot more bad daytime talk shows, these have all switched over to ridiculous people on court shows, actually, so ridiculous it's almost unbelievable. So my husband has switched to court shows as well. Admittedly, they are sometimes fun to watch, not all day mind you, but some of the judges are funny. He could truly watch these shows all day. His love of the bad reality tv has hit an all time low though. I thought it was bad when he was watching the poker tournaments, that was nothing compared to this. Now he's addicted to watching other people play video games against each other. Are you kidding me? Why is this even a show and could it possibly be any more mindless than that summary suggests? Reality tv has never been so low and how can they actually have a high enough rating to keep it on the air? Seriously....how? And the sad thing is, god forbid someone change the channel while he's watching it....he truly cares who wins! I can't take it....Judge Judy, Judge Alex, and Judge Brown, fine whatever, sometimes funny, usually entertaining, even a lesson sometimes, But what value can you get out of 2 people playing video games, neither of which is him. And then caring who wins. I'll tell you straight up Readers, if that's all it takes to entertain him, then I'm certainly not listening to him tell me he needs a Wii or some other such system, he can just go watch other people play. End of story.
I Feel A Conniption Coming On
Originally posted: 10/23/2008
Well, I'm patiently waiting for the cable guy to get here. I know you're all wondering why the big hurry to start cleaning my office, and there it is. He has to get in here and as that wasn't actually going to be possible, I needed to make more than just a path. My rug area is now completely clear....and....I vacuumed! First time in nearly a year that I could see my rug in order to vacuum it. My daughter was all impressed because now 2 people fit in here! Ha! Success! Only problem is, I did my cleaning from 1:00 am-4:00 am, and now the cable guy is running late and I'm really worried he isn't coming. If I did all of this work and didn't sleep all night for nothing, then Comcast is going to have a serious problem. Me. In conniption fit form. Conniption fit combined with sleep depravation. (Plus I'm getting hungry.) They don't want that, in the words of my daughter, "I love it when you have a conniption fit mommy. You always get your way." That's right Comcast, take note.
Well, I'm patiently waiting for the cable guy to get here. I know you're all wondering why the big hurry to start cleaning my office, and there it is. He has to get in here and as that wasn't actually going to be possible, I needed to make more than just a path. My rug area is now completely clear....and....I vacuumed! First time in nearly a year that I could see my rug in order to vacuum it. My daughter was all impressed because now 2 people fit in here! Ha! Success! Only problem is, I did my cleaning from 1:00 am-4:00 am, and now the cable guy is running late and I'm really worried he isn't coming. If I did all of this work and didn't sleep all night for nothing, then Comcast is going to have a serious problem. Me. In conniption fit form. Conniption fit combined with sleep depravation. (Plus I'm getting hungry.) They don't want that, in the words of my daughter, "I love it when you have a conniption fit mommy. You always get your way." That's right Comcast, take note.
Let The Cleaning Begin
Originally posted: 10/22/2008
Well Readers, to anyone still with me, thanks for checking in! I know I've been terrible with the blog, it's to be expected though. I'm done with ebay now and all my mind can think about is how I'm going to survive. Well, that and that I now need to clean my office. Those of you who know me....well, you can confirm that this is no small task. The job that is upon me now is unparralleled. Really. The mountains of crap in here....heaven help me, you have no idea. I keep finding things that I meant to put on ebay and simply lost or forgot about. It's a bottomless pit. What am I going to do with it all? I'd soak it all into my own collections....but my husband would notice. The other problem I've noticed is that I haven't stopped buying stuff yet. So, I'm making the problem worse....somebody stop me! Really though you should see the great stuff I found last week, and such bargains too. How I love a thrift store, regular stores bore me, nothing exciting there, no vintage anything. Very ho hum. Give me some crap to look through and you've made my day. Actually, now that I think about it, my office looks similar to some of the thrift stores I go to. I think that's my style I was going for.....Fun Thrift! I could just have my own tiny thrift store going on in here! By tiny I truly mean it Readers....I think my office is about 7' x 10'. Seven. By. Ten. Do not ask me how to fit a wrap around desk, a computer, 2 file cabinets, 7 storage drawer units, a year's worth of merchandise, and me in here. It's been 4 years and I haven't figured that little puzzle out yet. Not even close. Well, off I go to start my cleaning, I'll keep you updated on my progress as long I don't get sucked in and can't crawl up to the surface again. I'm not even kidding.
Well Readers, to anyone still with me, thanks for checking in! I know I've been terrible with the blog, it's to be expected though. I'm done with ebay now and all my mind can think about is how I'm going to survive. Well, that and that I now need to clean my office. Those of you who know me....well, you can confirm that this is no small task. The job that is upon me now is unparralleled. Really. The mountains of crap in here....heaven help me, you have no idea. I keep finding things that I meant to put on ebay and simply lost or forgot about. It's a bottomless pit. What am I going to do with it all? I'd soak it all into my own collections....but my husband would notice. The other problem I've noticed is that I haven't stopped buying stuff yet. So, I'm making the problem worse....somebody stop me! Really though you should see the great stuff I found last week, and such bargains too. How I love a thrift store, regular stores bore me, nothing exciting there, no vintage anything. Very ho hum. Give me some crap to look through and you've made my day. Actually, now that I think about it, my office looks similar to some of the thrift stores I go to. I think that's my style I was going for.....Fun Thrift! I could just have my own tiny thrift store going on in here! By tiny I truly mean it Readers....I think my office is about 7' x 10'. Seven. By. Ten. Do not ask me how to fit a wrap around desk, a computer, 2 file cabinets, 7 storage drawer units, a year's worth of merchandise, and me in here. It's been 4 years and I haven't figured that little puzzle out yet. Not even close. Well, off I go to start my cleaning, I'll keep you updated on my progress as long I don't get sucked in and can't crawl up to the surface again. I'm not even kidding.
Scary Times aka A Fresh Start
Originally posted: 10/15/2008
Well, my time on ebay is nearly over. I have to say I'm more scared than sad at this point. I really can't remember a time when I didn't have ebay to fall back on if I overspent for the week on groceries or gas. Also, I depend on it for Christmas money......and money to support my habits of hoarding dolls and toys. I used to know I could just go home and dig something out to sell and I could make up for it. I'm hoping my new ventures will be successful, but there is a lot of unknown right now so I'm definitely scared, as well I should be in this economy. I will admit I truly won't miss ebay. Some of the stuff I deal with is outrageous. Take for instance this guy I'm dealing with right now. First he sends me an email and says to go ahead and send him an invoice, but to send it for $2 less. I'm confused and I'm assuming that he is too so I just ignore it and send him his invoice. Then I get another email from him telling me that he really wants this doll, but in order for him to be happy, I'm going to have to send him some extras in the box, specifically he wants me to send him some shoes and a stand, then he'll be pleased. I get another email from him to let me know that he's decided to send payment. Later in the day, he sends me one more that instructs me to just go ahead and send the doll to him and then after she arrives, he'll send me the money he thinks I deserve for the items that I sent him. What?? This isn't a barter system here. I sent him an email that just told him that he has to pay the amount the auction ended at, then I send him the doll exactly as pictured, end of story. Sadly, he's not a new ebayer, he's been around, but this is the type of mentality that sellers are having to deal with now because of ebay's new feedback systems. I'm sure he'll leave me a negative because I didn't do as he instructed, forget that I followed all the ebay rules. It's now the buyer's rules because we can't do anything about it. Yes, I certainly won't miss ebay in that sense. I would say since this feedback system started, I've seen my non-paying bidders double. Maybe a little less than double, but what's the diff, it's way more than it was and I can't do anything about it. I'm happy to give ola.com a try and leave ebay behind for awhile. Hell, I'm nothing if not adventurous, I grew up in the time of pinched leg pants, legwarmers, and parachute pants. If tacky '80s clothes don't get you ready for living life on the edge than nothing will.
Well, my time on ebay is nearly over. I have to say I'm more scared than sad at this point. I really can't remember a time when I didn't have ebay to fall back on if I overspent for the week on groceries or gas. Also, I depend on it for Christmas money......and money to support my habits of hoarding dolls and toys. I used to know I could just go home and dig something out to sell and I could make up for it. I'm hoping my new ventures will be successful, but there is a lot of unknown right now so I'm definitely scared, as well I should be in this economy. I will admit I truly won't miss ebay. Some of the stuff I deal with is outrageous. Take for instance this guy I'm dealing with right now. First he sends me an email and says to go ahead and send him an invoice, but to send it for $2 less. I'm confused and I'm assuming that he is too so I just ignore it and send him his invoice. Then I get another email from him telling me that he really wants this doll, but in order for him to be happy, I'm going to have to send him some extras in the box, specifically he wants me to send him some shoes and a stand, then he'll be pleased. I get another email from him to let me know that he's decided to send payment. Later in the day, he sends me one more that instructs me to just go ahead and send the doll to him and then after she arrives, he'll send me the money he thinks I deserve for the items that I sent him. What?? This isn't a barter system here. I sent him an email that just told him that he has to pay the amount the auction ended at, then I send him the doll exactly as pictured, end of story. Sadly, he's not a new ebayer, he's been around, but this is the type of mentality that sellers are having to deal with now because of ebay's new feedback systems. I'm sure he'll leave me a negative because I didn't do as he instructed, forget that I followed all the ebay rules. It's now the buyer's rules because we can't do anything about it. Yes, I certainly won't miss ebay in that sense. I would say since this feedback system started, I've seen my non-paying bidders double. Maybe a little less than double, but what's the diff, it's way more than it was and I can't do anything about it. I'm happy to give ola.com a try and leave ebay behind for awhile. Hell, I'm nothing if not adventurous, I grew up in the time of pinched leg pants, legwarmers, and parachute pants. If tacky '80s clothes don't get you ready for living life on the edge than nothing will.
Friday, December 12, 2008
My New BFF
Originally posted: 10/15/2008
Yesterday I drove for my son's school field trip. It pretty much wrecked my entire day and possibly my life, but at least it was informative and the kids learned a lot.
To elaborate, I was completely devestated by my child's behavior when he was with his friends, with no teachers around. Mind you, he behaved during the learning time, did exactly as he was told by the teacher, blah blah blah. But when it came time to be with me and his friends, he was a holy terror. He wouldn't listen to me at all. I couldn't even imagine what some poor mom would've had to go through if she would've been the one driving him instead of me. This was his first field trip of the year, I went on all of them last year and he never behaved like this. I attribute it to the fact that there were only 6 little boys in his kindergarten class and there are like 14 this year and so he has all these friends now and when they get together they feed off each other and act like fools. That's one thing, but not listening to your mother is another whole story. After the field trip I grounded him from playing with friends after school, told him he'd be going to bed a half hour early and said we'd have a talk when I picked him up.
So I picked him up after school, he was in a great mood, like nothing even happened.....meanwhile I'm a straight wreck thinking all day about the monster that I've been raising. I proceeded to explain to him that I expected the best behavior out of him from now on, both at school on his own and when he's with me. I told him I was going to ask for updates from his teacher and that if he behaved as badly as he did at the field trip with his friends at school I would be dropping his sister off at a friends house and he would have a new best friend at school. That best friend would be me. I would sit by him in class, I would sit by him at lunch, I would sit by him at art and music, and best of all, he and I would sit together on the bench at recesses. We'd be inseparable. Let me say that I've had to use this threat before, on my daughter. The difference was that her teacher came to me and told me that there were some problems with her talking too much in class. I told her what I expected and that settled it, she wasn't....well....dumb enough to do it in front of me like her brother. So, he knows the stakes now, he may just be too clueless to take me seriously and that is when the wrecking of my life comes into play as I will have to actually follow through with my threat of being his best friend. My daughter knew better than to test my threat, I really don't think my son knows better. That's one of the hazardous parts of being a parent, sometimes we have to do what we say. It's miserable for the kid......but it's horribly miserable for us.
Yesterday I drove for my son's school field trip. It pretty much wrecked my entire day and possibly my life, but at least it was informative and the kids learned a lot.
To elaborate, I was completely devestated by my child's behavior when he was with his friends, with no teachers around. Mind you, he behaved during the learning time, did exactly as he was told by the teacher, blah blah blah. But when it came time to be with me and his friends, he was a holy terror. He wouldn't listen to me at all. I couldn't even imagine what some poor mom would've had to go through if she would've been the one driving him instead of me. This was his first field trip of the year, I went on all of them last year and he never behaved like this. I attribute it to the fact that there were only 6 little boys in his kindergarten class and there are like 14 this year and so he has all these friends now and when they get together they feed off each other and act like fools. That's one thing, but not listening to your mother is another whole story. After the field trip I grounded him from playing with friends after school, told him he'd be going to bed a half hour early and said we'd have a talk when I picked him up.
So I picked him up after school, he was in a great mood, like nothing even happened.....meanwhile I'm a straight wreck thinking all day about the monster that I've been raising. I proceeded to explain to him that I expected the best behavior out of him from now on, both at school on his own and when he's with me. I told him I was going to ask for updates from his teacher and that if he behaved as badly as he did at the field trip with his friends at school I would be dropping his sister off at a friends house and he would have a new best friend at school. That best friend would be me. I would sit by him in class, I would sit by him at lunch, I would sit by him at art and music, and best of all, he and I would sit together on the bench at recesses. We'd be inseparable. Let me say that I've had to use this threat before, on my daughter. The difference was that her teacher came to me and told me that there were some problems with her talking too much in class. I told her what I expected and that settled it, she wasn't....well....dumb enough to do it in front of me like her brother. So, he knows the stakes now, he may just be too clueless to take me seriously and that is when the wrecking of my life comes into play as I will have to actually follow through with my threat of being his best friend. My daughter knew better than to test my threat, I really don't think my son knows better. That's one of the hazardous parts of being a parent, sometimes we have to do what we say. It's miserable for the kid......but it's horribly miserable for us.
Thank God For The Freeze
Originally posted: 10/06/2008
Well, we did it. We set up at the flea/antique market for the first time. It was actually pretty fun and the best news of all.....it froze the night before! There were no big naked bellies to be seen, it started out at 29 degrees that morning, thus keeping all bellies fully covered. I didn't even have to endure any sexually charged jokes about hooters and the like, it was pretty tame overall. The funniest thing I overheard was 2 guys talking about the election. The guy talking says, "I'll tell ya what, you know what ticket I'd like to see? It's that Obama and Palin. Now that'd make a good ticket I tell ya. I'd vote for that one." Clearly not a joke, but funny all the same! I mean, can you imagine, they'd completely kill each other. Dead. Gone. Speaker of the House is president.
Let me just point out this unfortunate anomaly that always seems to happen when I do outdoor shows with my mom and dad. The battery on one of our cars' always dies! Right when we're leaving. So convenient. Here we are, packed up, ready to go....and one of us just doesn't make it. It's happened with our old cars, our new cars, there is absolutely no discrimination between old and new, theirs or mine. Let's just hope it's not both of us the next time for gods sake.
So, the good news is we did the show, we made money, we even eventually made it home. I might just want to do it again. It's something I can see myself getting into and some damn quick cash as we were done & packing up by 2:00. Mom, this doesn't let you off the hook, I still expect you to accompany me. We both know that this was the quiet show and the bellies are bound to be free again by the spring and I'm sure that hooters jokes won't be in short supply anymore. Practice your "Sweeties" and "Honeys", pack the hand sanitizer, and bring a set of jumper cables because I'm ready to sign up for another show!
Well, we did it. We set up at the flea/antique market for the first time. It was actually pretty fun and the best news of all.....it froze the night before! There were no big naked bellies to be seen, it started out at 29 degrees that morning, thus keeping all bellies fully covered. I didn't even have to endure any sexually charged jokes about hooters and the like, it was pretty tame overall. The funniest thing I overheard was 2 guys talking about the election. The guy talking says, "I'll tell ya what, you know what ticket I'd like to see? It's that Obama and Palin. Now that'd make a good ticket I tell ya. I'd vote for that one." Clearly not a joke, but funny all the same! I mean, can you imagine, they'd completely kill each other. Dead. Gone. Speaker of the House is president.
Let me just point out this unfortunate anomaly that always seems to happen when I do outdoor shows with my mom and dad. The battery on one of our cars' always dies! Right when we're leaving. So convenient. Here we are, packed up, ready to go....and one of us just doesn't make it. It's happened with our old cars, our new cars, there is absolutely no discrimination between old and new, theirs or mine. Let's just hope it's not both of us the next time for gods sake.
So, the good news is we did the show, we made money, we even eventually made it home. I might just want to do it again. It's something I can see myself getting into and some damn quick cash as we were done & packing up by 2:00. Mom, this doesn't let you off the hook, I still expect you to accompany me. We both know that this was the quiet show and the bellies are bound to be free again by the spring and I'm sure that hooters jokes won't be in short supply anymore. Practice your "Sweeties" and "Honeys", pack the hand sanitizer, and bring a set of jumper cables because I'm ready to sign up for another show!
I Hope There's No Stunks in The Porkapotty
Originally posted: 10/06/2008
My children feed off each other's speech impediments. It's a horrible vicious circle. I blame my husband...I'm not sure why, but I want him involved in this somehow. My daughter had certain words she said wrong. Because it took her so long to begin speaking, she was older when she started saying full sentences and it is very hard to break the habit of these words by then. When my son started talking, he picked up her odd pronunciations. Now, she's graduated from speech therapy, he's fully into it, but still can't lose the pronunciations of said words and she feeds into it by continuing to say the words wrong because she hears him do it. Literally, they use each other for excuses as to why they say words wrong, as in...."I'm not saying it wrong mommy, that's how my (sister/brother) says it." Will the circle ever end?? Let me give you some interesting examples......examples that my mom and I have laughed at to the point of tears some days.....right in front of the children.
Skunk--Stunk
Scorpion--Sporkian
Porcupine--Porkapine
Portapotty--Porkapotty
Let me just say that having a 9 year old tell you that she needs to use the porkapotty is hilarious in itself. Then she makes announcements that begin like this....."I know how to say PORKAPOTTY now guys! It's porkapotty....wait a minute....is it?" Oh honey, it's a good thing you're so cute.
My children feed off each other's speech impediments. It's a horrible vicious circle. I blame my husband...I'm not sure why, but I want him involved in this somehow. My daughter had certain words she said wrong. Because it took her so long to begin speaking, she was older when she started saying full sentences and it is very hard to break the habit of these words by then. When my son started talking, he picked up her odd pronunciations. Now, she's graduated from speech therapy, he's fully into it, but still can't lose the pronunciations of said words and she feeds into it by continuing to say the words wrong because she hears him do it. Literally, they use each other for excuses as to why they say words wrong, as in...."I'm not saying it wrong mommy, that's how my (sister/brother) says it." Will the circle ever end?? Let me give you some interesting examples......examples that my mom and I have laughed at to the point of tears some days.....right in front of the children.
Skunk--Stunk
Scorpion--Sporkian
Porcupine--Porkapine
Portapotty--Porkapotty
Let me just say that having a 9 year old tell you that she needs to use the porkapotty is hilarious in itself. Then she makes announcements that begin like this....."I know how to say PORKAPOTTY now guys! It's porkapotty....wait a minute....is it?" Oh honey, it's a good thing you're so cute.
Too Old For More
Originally posted: 09/29/2008
Well, my BFF has just recently birthed baby number 2. Let me just say, as a rule, I'm not super into newborns, they need to be at least 3 months old until I start to enjoy them, 6 is best though. Anyhu, Baby Bea is one of the cutest newborns I have seen, she's a little chunker, just adorable. It's a lot of work when they are tiny, but there are parts of it I miss. The older I get the easier it is for me to block out the less enjoyable parts.....like diapers, spit up.....my own stench when I'm unable to get a shower & sour milk is covering me....much like we moms do with labor and delivery. Just think, if we didn't block that out our population would be quickly diminishing, after one kid no one would put themselves through that torture again. Let's see, I could either be pain-free and enjoy the child I have or I could birth a second baby and in the process have 3 or 4 various doctors with both hands up my hoo, thereby dislocating a hip, and very nearly making a possible hysterectomy surgery unnecessary by just pulling everything out with their bare hands. The pain of it I have absolutely no recollection of.....I do remember the screaming though and I'm sure the labor & delivery floor does as well. I do miss being able to hold them in one arm, and then a couple weeks later, realizing I need two arms to hold them while they sleep. I miss swaddling blankets, I miss those one-piece sacs for newborns, God I love those.....those ridiculous faces they make when they sleep when they purse their lips and smile and twitch. When I would pick up my babies to move them from a carseat to a bed or something, they would do this crazy twitchy jump, but never wake up and my six year old did that the other day when I moved him to his own bed and I started to cry because he looked exactly like he did as a baby. My husband and I had kind of agreed that we might want 3 or 4 kids when we decided to start a family. My husband was so anxious at one point that when I was six months pregnant with our son....he asked me when I thought we should start trying for baby number 3. Hmm....let's talk about getting this one out first, dipshit. Because both of our kids had speech problems and our son is a complete maniac......walking at 9 months, I didn't sign up for that.....we didn't pursue having more right away. I was just talking to my husband about selling our crib because we're going to move and I said we could just get a new one if we decide to have a baby when we get there. Well, as you may recall in a previous post how happy I am that my husband is now 35, he seems to also think he has turned a corner. He pointed out to me that the time for babies has passed, it's too late for us now. Huh? I'm not THAT old!! "Well, it's me, I'm too old", he tells me. Uh huh.....apparently he forgot, I'm only one MONTH younger than him.
Well, my BFF has just recently birthed baby number 2. Let me just say, as a rule, I'm not super into newborns, they need to be at least 3 months old until I start to enjoy them, 6 is best though. Anyhu, Baby Bea is one of the cutest newborns I have seen, she's a little chunker, just adorable. It's a lot of work when they are tiny, but there are parts of it I miss. The older I get the easier it is for me to block out the less enjoyable parts.....like diapers, spit up.....my own stench when I'm unable to get a shower & sour milk is covering me....much like we moms do with labor and delivery. Just think, if we didn't block that out our population would be quickly diminishing, after one kid no one would put themselves through that torture again. Let's see, I could either be pain-free and enjoy the child I have or I could birth a second baby and in the process have 3 or 4 various doctors with both hands up my hoo, thereby dislocating a hip, and very nearly making a possible hysterectomy surgery unnecessary by just pulling everything out with their bare hands. The pain of it I have absolutely no recollection of.....I do remember the screaming though and I'm sure the labor & delivery floor does as well. I do miss being able to hold them in one arm, and then a couple weeks later, realizing I need two arms to hold them while they sleep. I miss swaddling blankets, I miss those one-piece sacs for newborns, God I love those.....those ridiculous faces they make when they sleep when they purse their lips and smile and twitch. When I would pick up my babies to move them from a carseat to a bed or something, they would do this crazy twitchy jump, but never wake up and my six year old did that the other day when I moved him to his own bed and I started to cry because he looked exactly like he did as a baby. My husband and I had kind of agreed that we might want 3 or 4 kids when we decided to start a family. My husband was so anxious at one point that when I was six months pregnant with our son....he asked me when I thought we should start trying for baby number 3. Hmm....let's talk about getting this one out first, dipshit. Because both of our kids had speech problems and our son is a complete maniac......walking at 9 months, I didn't sign up for that.....we didn't pursue having more right away. I was just talking to my husband about selling our crib because we're going to move and I said we could just get a new one if we decide to have a baby when we get there. Well, as you may recall in a previous post how happy I am that my husband is now 35, he seems to also think he has turned a corner. He pointed out to me that the time for babies has passed, it's too late for us now. Huh? I'm not THAT old!! "Well, it's me, I'm too old", he tells me. Uh huh.....apparently he forgot, I'm only one MONTH younger than him.
I Wish I Was Swiffering...
Originally posted: 09/25/2008
I'm working on something new right now...how to make more hours in a day, because right now there just aren't enough. I'm not sure how to squeeze that time in, but it seems like we can do something about it. I mean we can save money, just use coupons and put the savings in the bank, can't we bank time too? I need extra time right now, but I know this winter, I'll have tons of time on my hands, how can I borrow that time? I think I'm going to have to talk to the people who invented the Swiffer, their brilliance is sure to shine new light on my plan. We'll get some brainstorming going.
In other news, I'm currently taking an exercise class. Not something I enjoy using my time up on, but something must be done about the roll that has formed around my middle, for gods sakes. I'm a bit concerned though, the workout feels pretty good, my girlfriend that goes with me even said that my side-kicks look good, but I'm never sore. Please understand, I'm not bragging, I am quite certain that I'm doing something horribly wrong. I regularly pick a spot in the back because I know I'll screw somebody up if I'm standing in front of them and they see me. I can't do the workout at all if my eyes are not completely trained on our trainer and I'm doing the movements on the exact same side at the exact same time as her. I have to just stop and start all over again if I get off just a little bit. I am that visual of a person, auditory commands mean nothing to me. Probably all my stopping and starting again is causing me to completely lose any good that the workout does. I'm a wreck out there. So now, not only am I not getting rid of this roll, I'm losing an hour that I could otherwise be putting stuff on ebay.....or swiffering....or playing computer solitaire
I'm working on something new right now...how to make more hours in a day, because right now there just aren't enough. I'm not sure how to squeeze that time in, but it seems like we can do something about it. I mean we can save money, just use coupons and put the savings in the bank, can't we bank time too? I need extra time right now, but I know this winter, I'll have tons of time on my hands, how can I borrow that time? I think I'm going to have to talk to the people who invented the Swiffer, their brilliance is sure to shine new light on my plan. We'll get some brainstorming going.
In other news, I'm currently taking an exercise class. Not something I enjoy using my time up on, but something must be done about the roll that has formed around my middle, for gods sakes. I'm a bit concerned though, the workout feels pretty good, my girlfriend that goes with me even said that my side-kicks look good, but I'm never sore. Please understand, I'm not bragging, I am quite certain that I'm doing something horribly wrong. I regularly pick a spot in the back because I know I'll screw somebody up if I'm standing in front of them and they see me. I can't do the workout at all if my eyes are not completely trained on our trainer and I'm doing the movements on the exact same side at the exact same time as her. I have to just stop and start all over again if I get off just a little bit. I am that visual of a person, auditory commands mean nothing to me. Probably all my stopping and starting again is causing me to completely lose any good that the workout does. I'm a wreck out there. So now, not only am I not getting rid of this roll, I'm losing an hour that I could otherwise be putting stuff on ebay.....or swiffering....or playing computer solitaire
Delicately Stacked
Originally posted: 09/19/2008
Well, my auctions have definitely slowed down. You have to understand that my office is a whole series of delicately balanced piles & stacks with strategically placed counter weights. One quick move, or even a sneeze and the office comes tumbling down around me. My poor children would have to call the fire department to bring the jaws of life to get me out of here. Don't get me wrong, my whole house isn't like this. Nope, just the office. In truth I suffer, or better worded, my family suffers from my OCD. In reality, I think a little OCD never hurt anyone. Is there really anything wrong with having to dust at least once if not twice or 3 times......every single day? I will argue to the death that the Swiffer & Swiffer Duster are the greatest inventions mankind has ever seen. You know I love their Wet Jet too, but the dusters are amazing examples of modern man's brilliance. So anyhu, though I have literally bags of Barbie clothes sitting at my feet, I just can't get to them. Mostly because of the cases, baby dolls, Thundercats, and My Little Ponies stacked on top of them. It doesn't help that they all need to be sorted by era. I start thinking about moving all the items on top of the bags off, then the sorting and frankly, I'm just satisfied to continue to trip over them when I get in and out of my chair. Eventually, I'm going to have to take a deep breath, eat a package of Oreos, and then finally dig into them. I have no choice, I'm not going to be on ebay much longer and if my office still looks like this by Christmas, my husband will probably just pack everything up and take it to the Goodwill. Trust me, it really doesn't bother me, all these stacks and the fact that I can't swivel in my chair or I'll knock something down.....but it bothers him ferociously. And if there is anyone who is not a neat freak it's my husband, but I think it just comes down to he wants a place to put a cup on the desk and despite having a wrap-around desk, there is no open place. Ah well, I think I'll just go ahead and trip over these bags at my feet for another week or so, just the thought of all the energy that will be zapped from me by sorting them is wearing me out......and I have some Swiffering to do.
Well, my auctions have definitely slowed down. You have to understand that my office is a whole series of delicately balanced piles & stacks with strategically placed counter weights. One quick move, or even a sneeze and the office comes tumbling down around me. My poor children would have to call the fire department to bring the jaws of life to get me out of here. Don't get me wrong, my whole house isn't like this. Nope, just the office. In truth I suffer, or better worded, my family suffers from my OCD. In reality, I think a little OCD never hurt anyone. Is there really anything wrong with having to dust at least once if not twice or 3 times......every single day? I will argue to the death that the Swiffer & Swiffer Duster are the greatest inventions mankind has ever seen. You know I love their Wet Jet too, but the dusters are amazing examples of modern man's brilliance. So anyhu, though I have literally bags of Barbie clothes sitting at my feet, I just can't get to them. Mostly because of the cases, baby dolls, Thundercats, and My Little Ponies stacked on top of them. It doesn't help that they all need to be sorted by era. I start thinking about moving all the items on top of the bags off, then the sorting and frankly, I'm just satisfied to continue to trip over them when I get in and out of my chair. Eventually, I'm going to have to take a deep breath, eat a package of Oreos, and then finally dig into them. I have no choice, I'm not going to be on ebay much longer and if my office still looks like this by Christmas, my husband will probably just pack everything up and take it to the Goodwill. Trust me, it really doesn't bother me, all these stacks and the fact that I can't swivel in my chair or I'll knock something down.....but it bothers him ferociously. And if there is anyone who is not a neat freak it's my husband, but I think it just comes down to he wants a place to put a cup on the desk and despite having a wrap-around desk, there is no open place. Ah well, I think I'll just go ahead and trip over these bags at my feet for another week or so, just the thought of all the energy that will be zapped from me by sorting them is wearing me out......and I have some Swiffering to do.
How I Love You 35
Originally posted: 09/19/2008
Let me just give you an example of why these wonderful, logical thoughts that are now invading my 35 year old husband's mind are so welcome to me. Here is what the kids and I had to deal with just 4 short years ago:
My husband had to give my daughter a bath because I was at a PTO meeting. He ran the water for her and put her in. She was 6 at the time. She was all upset because the water was too hot, it was burning her and she couldn't sit down. My husband loves a hot, hot bath/shower and he can't understand why that wouldn't be good for a child too, despite the fact that I constantly tell him he puts the water too hot for the kids. Anyhu, I want you to think what would now be the LOGICAL thing to do if your child was complaining that the water was too hot for her.
Okay, do you have your answer?
Here's his:
He went to our bedroom and got the tabletop fan, plugged it in the bathroom outlet, and turned it on her.
Let me just give you an example of why these wonderful, logical thoughts that are now invading my 35 year old husband's mind are so welcome to me. Here is what the kids and I had to deal with just 4 short years ago:
My husband had to give my daughter a bath because I was at a PTO meeting. He ran the water for her and put her in. She was 6 at the time. She was all upset because the water was too hot, it was burning her and she couldn't sit down. My husband loves a hot, hot bath/shower and he can't understand why that wouldn't be good for a child too, despite the fact that I constantly tell him he puts the water too hot for the kids. Anyhu, I want you to think what would now be the LOGICAL thing to do if your child was complaining that the water was too hot for her.
Okay, do you have your answer?
Here's his:
He went to our bedroom and got the tabletop fan, plugged it in the bathroom outlet, and turned it on her.
Oh TaowTao Sauce
Originally posted: 09/17/2008
My children have an oddly skewed view of "cuss" words as they call them. It's odd because I'm not shy about swearing in front of them.....and I've never in my life called them cuss words. I'd rather they hear swearing from me and know that they aren't allowed to say it, than hear it on tv or from friends and think it's okay to say. When they were smaller, I was more careful about swearing in front of them, I thought they would pick it up and I would damage them for life etc. Then I found out my kids had some serious speech issues and neither of them could even speak until they were 3 and that was only because they were in speech therapy. I had free reign until then, I could swear like a trucker, I didn't have anyone telling me "no", I didn't have them saying inappropriate things in front of strangers. Hell, even with those problems, I consider myself lucky because by the time they were speaking, no one but I could understand them anyway. Like when my daughter was 3 and announced that she could see the butt crack of the man who was putting in our new floor, no one had any clue what she just said.
Anyhu, there are some very definite words, besides the known "cuss" words that I tell my children they are never allowed to say and so they group them as "cuss" words too. Words like shut up, and hate. I just can't tolerate these words.
As a 2nd grader, my daughter came home and was telling me about a little boy at school who said cuss words all the time. At first I was mildly disturbed, what kind of things is he saying to her I'm wondering....there are swear words and then there are inappropriate slang words for various body parts and sexual experimentation. Should I be worried? Um, no. I asked her what he said. She whispered to me as she looks over her shoulder to see who could be listening to her say such a thing in our kitchen, "the s-word." Well, okay, she's heard that before from me, but that's certainly not appropriate for school....wait a minute....."what s-word?" Whispering again, "shut up". "And," she announces, "he says the f-word too." This is a little worrisome as well, but I've learned my lesson quickly....."what would that f-word be?", I ask her. "Frick."
Now this week my son tells me that his sister has called him the f-word. Just as a side note, my son knows no quiet. He certainly did not whisper it and did not look over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening to him say this abomination. Now, having learned my lesson 3 years previously, I asked to tell me exactly what f-word that would be. "Big FAT Liar!", he announces. Um hmm.
My kids now get their swear words straight from everyone's favorite linguist, SpongeBob SquarePants. Namely, "Tarter Sauce", and "Barnacles". My daughter has graduated from speech therapy now, she speaks very clear. My son is still in speech therapy, he has a few impediments yet so his cursing sounds more like, "Oh taowtao sauce", and "Oh baanicles". It's good stuff. Nothing like a problem with your r's to help people take you seriously when you're cussing.
My children have an oddly skewed view of "cuss" words as they call them. It's odd because I'm not shy about swearing in front of them.....and I've never in my life called them cuss words. I'd rather they hear swearing from me and know that they aren't allowed to say it, than hear it on tv or from friends and think it's okay to say. When they were smaller, I was more careful about swearing in front of them, I thought they would pick it up and I would damage them for life etc. Then I found out my kids had some serious speech issues and neither of them could even speak until they were 3 and that was only because they were in speech therapy. I had free reign until then, I could swear like a trucker, I didn't have anyone telling me "no", I didn't have them saying inappropriate things in front of strangers. Hell, even with those problems, I consider myself lucky because by the time they were speaking, no one but I could understand them anyway. Like when my daughter was 3 and announced that she could see the butt crack of the man who was putting in our new floor, no one had any clue what she just said.
Anyhu, there are some very definite words, besides the known "cuss" words that I tell my children they are never allowed to say and so they group them as "cuss" words too. Words like shut up, and hate. I just can't tolerate these words.
As a 2nd grader, my daughter came home and was telling me about a little boy at school who said cuss words all the time. At first I was mildly disturbed, what kind of things is he saying to her I'm wondering....there are swear words and then there are inappropriate slang words for various body parts and sexual experimentation. Should I be worried? Um, no. I asked her what he said. She whispered to me as she looks over her shoulder to see who could be listening to her say such a thing in our kitchen, "the s-word." Well, okay, she's heard that before from me, but that's certainly not appropriate for school....wait a minute....."what s-word?" Whispering again, "shut up". "And," she announces, "he says the f-word too." This is a little worrisome as well, but I've learned my lesson quickly....."what would that f-word be?", I ask her. "Frick."
Now this week my son tells me that his sister has called him the f-word. Just as a side note, my son knows no quiet. He certainly did not whisper it and did not look over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening to him say this abomination. Now, having learned my lesson 3 years previously, I asked to tell me exactly what f-word that would be. "Big FAT Liar!", he announces. Um hmm.
My kids now get their swear words straight from everyone's favorite linguist, SpongeBob SquarePants. Namely, "Tarter Sauce", and "Barnacles". My daughter has graduated from speech therapy now, she speaks very clear. My son is still in speech therapy, he has a few impediments yet so his cursing sounds more like, "Oh taowtao sauce", and "Oh baanicles". It's good stuff. Nothing like a problem with your r's to help people take you seriously when you're cussing.
The Trend Continues
Originally posted: 09/17/2008
Happily, my husband is continuing to show his age! Let me tell anyone who is wondering....happiness begins when your husband turns 35. He has done various things around the house....without me asking him. He even went so far as to dig out a shelving unit that I didn't even know we had, get it down, and set it up. All. For. Me. He put it together for me to put all my homeschooling books on so that they would be convenient to get to. Huh? Who is this man. Seriously, if it wasn't for the HUGE conniption fit that he threw yesterday when the kids lost the TV remote thereby showing them the importance of cable TV versus rational human thought, I would think I was married to a new man.
Happily, my husband is continuing to show his age! Let me tell anyone who is wondering....happiness begins when your husband turns 35. He has done various things around the house....without me asking him. He even went so far as to dig out a shelving unit that I didn't even know we had, get it down, and set it up. All. For. Me. He put it together for me to put all my homeschooling books on so that they would be convenient to get to. Huh? Who is this man. Seriously, if it wasn't for the HUGE conniption fit that he threw yesterday when the kids lost the TV remote thereby showing them the importance of cable TV versus rational human thought, I would think I was married to a new man.
Only The Scientists Knew
Originally posted: 09/13/2008
It's taken awhile, in fact, it's taken 11 years of marriage, but my husband is finally 35. Who knew how great 35 would be......besides the scientists?? I read a couple of years ago that medical science has shown that men's neurons in their brains do not properly connect on making logical decisions until about the age of 35. 35 is finally here and it's amazing....no joke. My husband did something supremely stupid right before his birthday, when he was a mere 34, I won't go into details as he doesn't probably want his embarrassment out there for all my friends to read, but it was just stupid, like not even worth not telling me about stupid.....oh yeah, and selfish. Anyhu, I found out about it....because I'm not stupid and he must be to think I wouldn't...duh. Well, a day afterward, I got one of the most if not the most sincere apology I have ever gotten in my life. It was amazing. Then he finished the week off by doing the dishes, asking if I had any plans or if it was okay if he went on a mountain bike ride on his day off, checking with me before going out with his friends on Saturday night, and being home - not just on time but early for a day when I'm taking an exercise class. I know.....this is crazy shit. I would think it was guilt related, but it doesn't seem to be. I think those neurons are finally connecting and regular things that are logical to the rest of us, have finally kicked in for him. Those 11 years of waiting are finally paying off.
It's taken awhile, in fact, it's taken 11 years of marriage, but my husband is finally 35. Who knew how great 35 would be......besides the scientists?? I read a couple of years ago that medical science has shown that men's neurons in their brains do not properly connect on making logical decisions until about the age of 35. 35 is finally here and it's amazing....no joke. My husband did something supremely stupid right before his birthday, when he was a mere 34, I won't go into details as he doesn't probably want his embarrassment out there for all my friends to read, but it was just stupid, like not even worth not telling me about stupid.....oh yeah, and selfish. Anyhu, I found out about it....because I'm not stupid and he must be to think I wouldn't...duh. Well, a day afterward, I got one of the most if not the most sincere apology I have ever gotten in my life. It was amazing. Then he finished the week off by doing the dishes, asking if I had any plans or if it was okay if he went on a mountain bike ride on his day off, checking with me before going out with his friends on Saturday night, and being home - not just on time but early for a day when I'm taking an exercise class. I know.....this is crazy shit. I would think it was guilt related, but it doesn't seem to be. I think those neurons are finally connecting and regular things that are logical to the rest of us, have finally kicked in for him. Those 11 years of waiting are finally paying off.
Longest Month Ever
Originally posted: 09/08/2008
Okay, things are calming down here with the whole back to school nonsense. I think. Well, pretty much anyway. It's leaving me more time to get things listed on ebay for my big finale. I have just over a month left and I have so much stuff stacked in my office that I couldn't clear it out if I had a flood wash through there. But the important thing is that I'm working on it. The problem is, I'm really sick of it. One week of really trying to get a good variety and a whole bunch of stuff on there and I'm tired of it, I just want a break for awhile. Oh, and my digital camera is broken, for God's sake. This is going to be the longest month ever. Actually, I wasted 2 hours this morning playing solitaire.....why can't I CONCENTRATE? It' not that I don't like money, it's not that I don't like the dolls and antiques I'm listing, in truth it's not even that I don't like ebay. I must be suffering a little bit of burnout. I try to be so thorough in my listings and try to find and then list such fun unique items that I've worn myself right out. That's what it must be..... I. Need. A. Nap.
Okay, things are calming down here with the whole back to school nonsense. I think. Well, pretty much anyway. It's leaving me more time to get things listed on ebay for my big finale. I have just over a month left and I have so much stuff stacked in my office that I couldn't clear it out if I had a flood wash through there. But the important thing is that I'm working on it. The problem is, I'm really sick of it. One week of really trying to get a good variety and a whole bunch of stuff on there and I'm tired of it, I just want a break for awhile. Oh, and my digital camera is broken, for God's sake. This is going to be the longest month ever. Actually, I wasted 2 hours this morning playing solitaire.....why can't I CONCENTRATE? It' not that I don't like money, it's not that I don't like the dolls and antiques I'm listing, in truth it's not even that I don't like ebay. I must be suffering a little bit of burnout. I try to be so thorough in my listings and try to find and then list such fun unique items that I've worn myself right out. That's what it must be..... I. Need. A. Nap.
FAQs
Originally posted: 09/05/2008
Edited: 12/12/2008
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are a few questions I've been asked recently:
Can I name drop?
I suppose I could, this is something that may take me a bit of time though as I haven't even directly named my children yet. I'm enough unsure of all of this that I don't know how far is too far. Basically I've screwed myself too. I'm busy running around telling everyone to read my blog and then I realize I can't write about anyone that I just told about the blog. Geez, what am I thinking? Way to stifle my creativity...
Are you going to post daily?
Here's the thing, I have kids, I will never ever ever run out of things to write about.....ever. I also run my own antique/collectible business, the characters I meet through this business are unreal. Really. Like, if I didn't meet them myself, I wouldn't believe people like this really existed. I have so much to write about I could write forever, but the problem is that running my own business, home-schooling my daughter, and raising 2 kids leaves little time for writing on a blog. Which is why I never put a lot of thought into having a blog I suppose, I just couldn't figure out who would have time for such a thing, I sure as shit don't. But, I'm doing it, and it's making me disciplined and I'm going to write interesting things, not sappy, insipid, no one cares, not even your own mother type of stuff....and frankly, that takes time.
Edited: 12/12/2008
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are a few questions I've been asked recently:
Can I name drop?
I suppose I could, this is something that may take me a bit of time though as I haven't even directly named my children yet. I'm enough unsure of all of this that I don't know how far is too far. Basically I've screwed myself too. I'm busy running around telling everyone to read my blog and then I realize I can't write about anyone that I just told about the blog. Geez, what am I thinking? Way to stifle my creativity...
Are you going to post daily?
Here's the thing, I have kids, I will never ever ever run out of things to write about.....ever. I also run my own antique/collectible business, the characters I meet through this business are unreal. Really. Like, if I didn't meet them myself, I wouldn't believe people like this really existed. I have so much to write about I could write forever, but the problem is that running my own business, home-schooling my daughter, and raising 2 kids leaves little time for writing on a blog. Which is why I never put a lot of thought into having a blog I suppose, I just couldn't figure out who would have time for such a thing, I sure as shit don't. But, I'm doing it, and it's making me disciplined and I'm going to write interesting things, not sappy, insipid, no one cares, not even your own mother type of stuff....and frankly, that takes time.
5 Seconds Of Fame
Originally posted: 09/05/2008
Check out this link of my famous son! Here he is riding his bike in the big bike race through Grand Rapids last year. They used the footage they filmed last year for this year's tv commercial. When you see the kids taking off and then they switch to a little boy in a black t-shirt looking all determined, that's my baby!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iBmPEuBmOc
Check out this link of my famous son! Here he is riding his bike in the big bike race through Grand Rapids last year. They used the footage they filmed last year for this year's tv commercial. When you see the kids taking off and then they switch to a little boy in a black t-shirt looking all determined, that's my baby!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iBmPEuBmOc
Why I Need To Exercise More
Originally posted: 09/02/2008
First day back to school. First day of First grade for my little one. It went great.....until he got home. I tried to prepare myself for the war that I knew would break out when he got home. I hid all sharp objects and closeted my breakables. I closed all the windows so the neighbors wouldn't hear the screaming. I even did some stretches so that if he tried to run from me I could chase him. (IF....what was I thinking?) Turns out all the preparations were absolutely NECESSARY.
I picked him up from school and he told me how exhausted he was, uh huh, he came home and wanted something to eat, okay, he went outside to play for a little bit and it was total apocalypse. I actually had to ask him if he was possessed at one point because his voice was that of a demon. The only word that he would utter/scream was no, so I don't really know if he was or not. Chaos ensued. After I pinned him to the couch and caught my breath, I grounded him for the rest of the week and told him that he could sit quietly to think about his behavior and what he needed to do about it, or I could call a priest and try to figure out exactly how many spirits were residing in his body. At the end of it all he thought that he was just super tired and maybe he should have a nap everyday when he gets out of school. Ya think?
First day back to school. First day of First grade for my little one. It went great.....until he got home. I tried to prepare myself for the war that I knew would break out when he got home. I hid all sharp objects and closeted my breakables. I closed all the windows so the neighbors wouldn't hear the screaming. I even did some stretches so that if he tried to run from me I could chase him. (IF....what was I thinking?) Turns out all the preparations were absolutely NECESSARY.
I picked him up from school and he told me how exhausted he was, uh huh, he came home and wanted something to eat, okay, he went outside to play for a little bit and it was total apocalypse. I actually had to ask him if he was possessed at one point because his voice was that of a demon. The only word that he would utter/scream was no, so I don't really know if he was or not. Chaos ensued. After I pinned him to the couch and caught my breath, I grounded him for the rest of the week and told him that he could sit quietly to think about his behavior and what he needed to do about it, or I could call a priest and try to figure out exactly how many spirits were residing in his body. At the end of it all he thought that he was just super tired and maybe he should have a nap everyday when he gets out of school. Ya think?
My Mom And Her Great Ideas
My mom has another great idea for me. What would I do without her? Since I'm not going to be selling on Ebay anymore, she thinks we should start selling at shows. Not too big of a stretch since we already go to so many. Mom and I have some serious collecting issues.....some may call it hoarding, a few may even call it a sickness of sorts.....I would not argue any of these opinions. Anyway, we went to one of our favorite antique show/flea markets today. You can get anything from a six pack of socks to an original Schwinn Stingray, from a bushel of peaches to a Mission Dining set. Yes, I mention these things because I've purchased all of them there at some point before.....everything in between too. Well, we looked at the show from a seller's viewpoint instead of a buyer's. It wasn't pretty.
Let me just say right now for the record, if my mom decides last minute that she can't do the show with me it will be grounds for never speaking to her again. All future communication will have to be done through a 3rd party. First off, I will have to prepare myself to see a multitude of huge naked bellies, both men and women. Why it's not necessary to cover all that skin I'm not sure. Dressing professionally or with properly fitting clothing (hell, I'd even settle for looking like they just rolled out of bed) is clearly not required. All jokes told have to have the word "horny", or "hooters", and then you must laugh maniacally. I don't know any right now, but I do have internet access. I'll have to make sure and call everyone either Sweetie or Honey. Also, I must completely ignore that all the porta potties have a hand sanitizer dispenser inside. I must ignore it so completely that if someone asks if that particular port has any sanitizer left, I have to look at them like they are crazy and tell them I have no idea what they are talking about. Now most of these I can do with no problem on my own, but if my mom thinks we should do these shows then she will have to partake in the "enjoyment" of it or it's OVER! Are you reading this mom????
Let me just say right now for the record, if my mom decides last minute that she can't do the show with me it will be grounds for never speaking to her again. All future communication will have to be done through a 3rd party. First off, I will have to prepare myself to see a multitude of huge naked bellies, both men and women. Why it's not necessary to cover all that skin I'm not sure. Dressing professionally or with properly fitting clothing (hell, I'd even settle for looking like they just rolled out of bed) is clearly not required. All jokes told have to have the word "horny", or "hooters", and then you must laugh maniacally. I don't know any right now, but I do have internet access. I'll have to make sure and call everyone either Sweetie or Honey. Also, I must completely ignore that all the porta potties have a hand sanitizer dispenser inside. I must ignore it so completely that if someone asks if that particular port has any sanitizer left, I have to look at them like they are crazy and tell them I have no idea what they are talking about. Now most of these I can do with no problem on my own, but if my mom thinks we should do these shows then she will have to partake in the "enjoyment" of it or it's OVER! Are you reading this mom????
Am I A Mommyblogger?
Originally posted: 8/29/08
I guess since I have kids and I'm starting this blog, I'm a Mommyblogger. I don't know what that means really. It's not like moms that blog, only blog. Or even that the blogs only contain stories about their kids or even only about mommies. Blog is one of the strangest words I've ever heard, I really don't even like saying it. It feels like my cheeks and tongue have gone numb and I have no control over how they move, I'm just opening my mouth trying to make sounds come out and my mouth won't cooperate.
I can confirm that I'm not doing this so my kids look back at it and see what their lives were like, treasure it, like an heirloom or something. Yeah, they probably won't like most of what I write anyway unless it's something about their sibling that is even remotely embarrassing. Or something that can be used in a future argument about how mom loved me more than you. The proof is in the blog.
I'm pretty sure I won't even be writing about mundane daily activities....."today we went to the grocery store and the library"....etc. Like I care about remembering that shit and want to preserve the memory for the future, that's just boring. If something exciting like a concussion or a temper tantrum over the cart didn't happen, I won't even bother including it. Well, okay, I'll be perfectly honest, my "mommy memory" is so bad I really can't remember on a daily basis if I've been to the store or the library. The kids have to remind me and they can't type yet, so since we're relying on me, those things just won't be included.
I guess since I have kids and I'm starting this blog, I'm a Mommyblogger. I don't know what that means really. It's not like moms that blog, only blog. Or even that the blogs only contain stories about their kids or even only about mommies. Blog is one of the strangest words I've ever heard, I really don't even like saying it. It feels like my cheeks and tongue have gone numb and I have no control over how they move, I'm just opening my mouth trying to make sounds come out and my mouth won't cooperate.
I can confirm that I'm not doing this so my kids look back at it and see what their lives were like, treasure it, like an heirloom or something. Yeah, they probably won't like most of what I write anyway unless it's something about their sibling that is even remotely embarrassing. Or something that can be used in a future argument about how mom loved me more than you. The proof is in the blog.
I'm pretty sure I won't even be writing about mundane daily activities....."today we went to the grocery store and the library"....etc. Like I care about remembering that shit and want to preserve the memory for the future, that's just boring. If something exciting like a concussion or a temper tantrum over the cart didn't happen, I won't even bother including it. Well, okay, I'll be perfectly honest, my "mommy memory" is so bad I really can't remember on a daily basis if I've been to the store or the library. The kids have to remind me and they can't type yet, so since we're relying on me, those things just won't be included.
A Hilarious Blog
Originally posted: 08/28/2008
Well, today starts my blog. This isn't something that I've put a lot of thought into doing, nor is it something that I wanted to do because it will be cathartic as some bloggers say. No, I'm writing it because my mom told me I should......because it would be hilarious. She doesn't mention that writing about my life could be interesting, or thought provoking, or dramatic, or hell, even something as saccharine as helping keep faraway friends and family updated. Nope. Hilarious.
Not that I'm completely clueless as to why. I am a mom. Is there ever a quiet moment? Is there anything funnier than a six year old singing "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain", in the voice of Louis Armstrong? Completely in tune of course because I'm not putting up with any half ass Louis Armstrong singing. Or how about said six year old asking the neighbor if her son "just pooped his diaper.....or did he just forget to brush his teeth today?" Hmmmm....
I know mom, as you're reading this you're thinking I'm letting my daughter off the hook, that's not the case, she's pretty funny too. Now, most days I would say sibling rivalry, not hilarious. However..... One day when my youngest got freaked out by a mouse in the back shed, my oldest consoled him by saying, "Its okay, don't worry, mice don't eat people." Then she told my ultra picky eater, "Mice eat cheese. Of course, you mostly only eat cheese, so it'll probably eat you." This happened over a year ago, but I'm sure we're still dealing with the traumatic after effects of that statement. Good times.
Really my life, like most is full of drama, doubt, fear, and some absurdity. Happily most of it can be put in the hilarious column. It may take a few months, but eventually it'll make it over there.
Well, today starts my blog. This isn't something that I've put a lot of thought into doing, nor is it something that I wanted to do because it will be cathartic as some bloggers say. No, I'm writing it because my mom told me I should......because it would be hilarious. She doesn't mention that writing about my life could be interesting, or thought provoking, or dramatic, or hell, even something as saccharine as helping keep faraway friends and family updated. Nope. Hilarious.
Not that I'm completely clueless as to why. I am a mom. Is there ever a quiet moment? Is there anything funnier than a six year old singing "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain", in the voice of Louis Armstrong? Completely in tune of course because I'm not putting up with any half ass Louis Armstrong singing. Or how about said six year old asking the neighbor if her son "just pooped his diaper.....or did he just forget to brush his teeth today?" Hmmmm....
I know mom, as you're reading this you're thinking I'm letting my daughter off the hook, that's not the case, she's pretty funny too. Now, most days I would say sibling rivalry, not hilarious. However..... One day when my youngest got freaked out by a mouse in the back shed, my oldest consoled him by saying, "Its okay, don't worry, mice don't eat people." Then she told my ultra picky eater, "Mice eat cheese. Of course, you mostly only eat cheese, so it'll probably eat you." This happened over a year ago, but I'm sure we're still dealing with the traumatic after effects of that statement. Good times.
Really my life, like most is full of drama, doubt, fear, and some absurdity. Happily most of it can be put in the hilarious column. It may take a few months, but eventually it'll make it over there.
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