It's Killing Me

Well, yesterday D turned 9. Nine. Does anyone but me realize how rare the fabulous things he says are getting. I mean, no more churkboys, no more ED Dar 2, no more "Whaaa, I'm half African??" This is a solemn time. But in the meantime, we have eggcorns. This is our most recent fantastic word creation by D. I mean, mapigate is great, but, someone would've come up with that one. Eggcorn, flipping hilarious. Where does this stuff come from? Plus, not only did he manage to rename the acorn, he has a whole new eggcorn game that you play with said acorn. I don't know how it's played though, I've had to ask him to not play it in the house. There's a lot of throwing and spinning. Which we all know is not good for eggs, probably for corns either, so for now it's an outside game. We'll let you know if he takes it mainstream.

Now If Only She Could Read A Map!

Just so ya know, A is 12. This is very important, this is an age to celebrate, much like 16. What does it represent? Why sitting in the front seat of course! Oh how A loves to travel with me now that she can sit in the front. She thinks she's the shit...and she probably is.

Today A & D were in the van with me (A in front of course) and we were discussing the finer points of automatic windows. Particularly, why the driver's seat window opens and closes by itself. I explained that of course it's just safer for the driver to not have to hold the button down so the driver can concentrate on the driving of it all. D thought that made good sense. Then he was like, "Wait a minute, what if A has to Mapigate? It might be easier for her window to open and close on it's own because she'll have to be your Mapigator."

Grown Ups Don't Do That

Now, I have to get back to what this blog is really about, and why I need the blog. A place for me to rant about various kinds of tacky behavior. Mostly Vader's. Vader, Vader, Vader....

Vader loves his bike. Sorry, I mean, LOVES his bike. So this week, he goes on a bike ride with his biking buddy and doesn't show up back home again until after 11:00pm. Whaaat? Do I get a phone call...nope. Did he wonder if I had other plans and he'd need to be with the kids....nope. Do I even get a forewarning? One guess. Did I make supper...yup. Did I wonder if he was dead...yup. Mind you, this is not a week unlike any other. This has certainly happened before. He doesn't always stay out until midnight (10 is more common), but many a time supper has gotten cold waiting for him. Just to find out that he ate with his friends. Please, don't ask how happy that makes me. Because I just couldn't tell you even if I used all the varied and graphic curse words of my forefathers before me. It wouldn't be enough.

Now, this week, I've chosen not to speak to him, I'm a little too angry for that and there are children present. He doesn't notice, but I do it anyway. So, I decide to go ahead and speak to him then yesterday. His reply to me had to do with what he ate for dinner at his friends house. Oh Bleaders, oh how I itched to kick his ass...still do. Instead I just snapped at him that he wasn't to speak of it. I do believe it's time for Vader to take a Big Girl pill and get his ass home for supper if he wants to keep his bike, or his ass for that matter. Either that or learn how to use his flippin' phone. If you happen to see him bruised and beaten...don't ask...no good can come of this behavior.

Don't Judge

Though I'm not really worried about being judged as I'm sure no one is reading. Despite this, for my own peace of mind, I'm adding a new post because some things, I just don't want to forget and I type waaaay faster than I write.

As of this winter, D rollerskated precisely 1 time. As in once. It was last spring, that would be 2009. This winter...that would be 2010, he announced that his true dream job is being a car hop at Sonic because he's such a great skater. This wasn't just a off the cuff comment, he talked of it daily and how wonderful he is at skating ,and how old do you have to be to have a job, and can you wear regular skates or only rollerblades, etc. Finally, this spring he found a pair of roller blades at a garage sale. They were $2 and he insisted on them. I thought it was going to be futile nightmare and I saw a lot of bandaids in our future. One time of skating does not a pro make. He started using them immediately and constantly. He actually started to get good. Then, in later spring we found another pair of rollerblades at a sale for $2, but they were of a top namebrand, so I picked those up too. Now he has two pair, one great pair, one spare/share pair. More than that, he's an awesome rollerblader. Like, really good. So due to his fantastic determination, from time to time, we have to drive out to Sonic for their 99 cent sundaes after 8pm so he can get pointers from the pros. I see a successful career in the making....how many 8 year olds practice on a daily basis for their future careers?

We had a great day at the Ludington State Beach this summer. We drove into town and it was swamped, way busier than it should've been. We couldn't even get to the regular in town beach, there were detours and it was a complete mess. Finally I noticed that they were having a Gus Macker tournament and told everyone that's what the deal was. We decided to go the beach up a little further by the campgrounds. It was nice and quiet there, very few people. As we're driving, A says, "Um, what's a Smacker anyway?"

Abandoned

Well, if anyone is reading this, I'm highly surprised. Clearly, I've given up all hope of being a regular blog writer...and reader for that matter. I don't write posts, I don't read any of my favorite posters...I do however make time for some solitaire every now and again. I'm completely and totally resigned to the fact that I'm addicted to my extreme thrifting as well as yard-saling and all other forms of thrifting. It's my life right now. And I'm good with that. Swiffering, still suffering. Baking, no time for that. Exercise, I get it running house to house at neighborhood sales. Could I make the time for writing more posts? Absolutely, I make time for solitaire, I could definitely post something, however, if I'm on the computer doing solitaire, it's because my brain is fried. Like it was all day today. I couldn't focus, I couldn't organize my thoughts, I was a wreck. But I just worked through it going house to house at a neighborhood sale, buying bargains. Because that, Bleaders, is my life.

My Swiffering Is Suffering

Well, we all know how I love a Swiffer. I love to dust, love it, and any Swiffer product makes it that much more enjoyable. I run around here Swiffer of some sort or another in hand talking on the phone, yelling at children, and Swiffering. It's a good time. Only, I haven't hardly done it at all in the last couple of weeks. Strange, but true. I blame it on what I now call...dun dun dunnnn...Extreme Thrifting. It's taking over my life. It's not like thrifting anyone has ever seen before. It's a free for all, it's pure madness, and best of all, it's all paid for by the pound. No more pricing rules with pants being one price, shoes another. Erase all that from your minds, it's over. Now, it's fill a cart, weigh it on a giant "cart scale" and pay 50 cents per pound. They don't care if you have 2 Hollister sweatshirts and a vintage 70s sundress, it's 50 cents per pound. They don't care that I just found a Bitty Twin and her clothes along with a pile of vintage Cabbage Patch Kid clothes and a box of Legos, it's 50 cents per pound. So you can see where the madness takes over, I'm addicted. So, at least my Swiffering is suffering for good reason. I mean, who can argue with a good bargain?

New Series ~ Quick Confessions ~ #1

Sometimes you just feel better when you get things off your chest, Bleaders, know what I mean. Thus, my new series, Quick Confessions. I'll just be writing down my thoughts, as naughty, ridiculous, godawful as they may be. Here goes.

Most of the times when I tell the kids I'll make them Chocolate Chip cookies, it's only because I crave the dough. I obsess about it. I just love it so much. Then I have to sneak it because they think eating dough is really bad for you, in fact, I just don't want to share. I mean, the cookies are good, but the dough is effing fabulous.

Smothering No Longer Necessary

This, Bleaders, is what I used to want to do to Vader. You may think from previous posts that I'm not a fan of the breathing machine that has given him his nickname. In fact that couldn't be further from the truth. If the snoring wasn't bad enough, it was that he constantly quit breathing while he was sleeping. I found myself holding my breath, waiting for him to take a breath. It made me so crazy that I just wanted to put us both out of our misery. Though I may have wanted to take a pillow to him, I of course didn't. I did do a lot of beating him about the arms and torso in order to wake him up and get him breathing. Turns out after the first month of two of marriage I just didn't have the patience to shake him gently awake.

So, now I'm happy to report that with the help of the breathing machine we are able to sleep in peace. Both of us. He thought he was sleeping fine before. He just needed me to point out to him, or beat into him, that he slept like shit. Which I continue to do when he tells me he's too tired to put on the blessed machine, and my elbow doesn't take no for an answer.

Basking In The Glow Of My KitchenAid

Well, the weather here sure is crappy, but who cares, I just sit in the glow from my stunning KitchenAid...with pour spout accessory purchased separately, thanks family! It may look a little large to you in this picture, and it is Bleaders, it is. Both literally and figuratively. It's of course a very big deal, I mean, just ask my husband what a large impact it's had on our snack life. Further, it weighs more than a concrete truck. I had to get a series of levers and pulleys going to just move it to the counter so I could photograph it...and bask in it's glow. This is a machine loved by one and all, even Vader revels in the deliciousness of baked goods that he makes himself with the power of the KitchenAid. My biggest problem with it right now is that I constantly worry we're going to wear it out from overuse, we'll waste away for sure. Then what will I do with all the elastic waistband pants I've purchased?

Annual Belated Holiday Letter

Well, it's time for my annual Christmas letter in the New Year. Somehow I never actually get around to do a Christmas letter until after the New Year. And we all know how I feel about the dreaded Christmas Cards. So over it.

What can I say, it's been a crazy year. The house is up for sale, we had to get a new car for Vader, the kids can nearly look me in the eye, I expanded my horizons and did a few more shows, and my hoarding of all things Fisher Price Little People and Barbie is at an all time low due to having to keep my office clean.

Right around Labor Day we put our house up for sale for the epic move to Arizona. Already my good friend, the One Woman Mob, has made her pilgrimage, my sister & her family have been there for a year and a half, and my parents are spending a nice super long vacation in their Arizona house this winter. Between all of them, we get daily updates on the weather. It's pretty much the same every day though:So we give them daily updates on our weather, also pretty much the same:

So we've had interest in the house, but no offers yet. We've found a house in Arizona that we're ready to put an offer on. It's beautiful, around the corner from my parents, and a short sale so that means we have plenty of time to try and sell our house before the bank would ever even look at an offer on a short sale home. Clearly, the sooner we sell the house and can move to AZ the better as the snow is about to suffocate me.

So, let's start with everyone's favorite subject, Vader. Vader got a new car right before Christmas, turns out that quarter million miles he put on the old one pretty much wore it out. Who knew? He got a sporty Honda Coupe with all the trimmings. He thinks he's the shit. Whatever, Vader. Other than the new car, he's been up to the same old, same old. He's been biking a lot, with my dad and various other biking friends. He got a new bike this year, again, thinks he's the shit. He still loves his job and has been spending a lot of time doing outdoor activities like bike riding and sledding with the kids this year.

On to A. Oh A, she's 5' 3" now, and only 11. Can you stand it? She and I are still doing the home-schooling. She really likes it and it's giving her the time on each subject to really learn. We've been able to incorporate fun things like a trip to Mackinaw City & the fort up there, as well as Mackinaw Island into her schooling. A made it to a blue belt in karate this year, both kids are taking some time off from karate right now due to the imminent move to AZ, but she plans to restart when we move. I've been taking her with me to help out with my shows too. She's great at setting up my tables, helping customers, she's even learning to make & count back change. She, like me, is definitely a collector, a passionate collector. She's still collecting Bratz dolls, way over 200 by now. She also is enjoying adding to a 1950's poodle collection, she collects Asian dolls and figurines, vintage Dream Pets, comic books, Smurfs, and most recently, the Flintstones Pebbles. So eclectic!

D is my crazy one. He's definitely a drama-driven entertainer at heart. He wants to dance and sing and make people (or at least his family) notice him. What's taking him so long in the bathroom you ask, why he's only just begun his repertoire of faces and dance moves in the mirror, you'll have to just wait your turn. He's in 2nd grade now, still going to school. He's doing great in math particularly. Reading has been a little more of a struggle for him, but it's finally coming around now that his speech is in good shape. He might be released from the speech program in the next couple of months, he's come a long way in a very short time. He's already over 4'5" at 8 years old and is the tallest boy in his class. He also made it to blue belt this year in karate. I think both he and A enjoyed swimming more than anything this year though, we even took them to Great Wolf Lodge for a couple of days so they could get more swimming in. D has also caught my collecting bug, he collects vintage Star Wars figures/ships, Galactic Heroes Star Wars, Transformers, Cars cars, Playmobil, and Legos. He's always on the lookout for anything to add to his collections.

As for me, my gathering of things is limited by what I can easily put into my office and still keep it clean. No more filling up the family room with my overflow. No more stacking of bags and boxes and risk having them fall onto me, trapping me forever in my office. That just won't do for an open house. I did try a couple of new shows this year, one of which was the big week long show in New York! It was super fun and we did pretty well. We only brought home half of what we came with! Right after the show, I ended up with a bad back, really bad, like it didn't go away and I couldn't walk. Any of you who are blog followers of mine might have read some of that nonsense. Turns out I have Degenerative Disc Disorder and the discs in my back are slowly disintegrating. Awesome. I'm glad I know about it now though because I have been able to learn what I should and shouldn't do so that I don't ever have problems like I did this fall. I feel pretty much back to normal now and I plan to keep it that way. Right now, I'm just trying to keep everything in order and pack a few things when I think of it so that I'm ready to move to AZ at the slightest notice. I can't wait, it's going to be great, just what I need right now, a new adventure! I have some great ideas for businesses that I plan to start up when I get out there. It's all very exciting.

So, that's our year in a nutshell. Busy, fun, crazy, and happy. Very.