No Time For You, Readers

Have you noticed? I'm posting my Issues, so much less frequently now, Readers. It's that time of year again, time to spend every waking moment outside....or Swiffering. Well, the Swiffering I do anyway, but I'm getting the spring cleaning urge and the Swiffering has been taken up a notch.

I haven't baked anything chocolate in weeks, can you believe it?? I'm getting outside and doing activities, like bike riding and walking. I just want to feel the sun and warm air, I don't want to miss a minute of it. (By warm air I mean anything over 38 degrees, by the time it gets to 45, break out the shortsleeves. I've gotten used to 9 degrees, 45 is a flippin' heat wave.) But also, I do know it's time to lose that roll around my middle. What kept me warm in the winter, doesn't look so cute in a swimsuit in the summer.

I also find other reasons to get outdoors, like putting clothes on the line, raking, jump-starting the dead battery on my van for the 100th time. None of these things leave a lot of time for writing about issues that are currently plaguing me, or about other people's extreme tackiness making me feel better about myself. (Admittedly, the latter is my favorite.)

I will tell you this though, I'm going to the Barbie Mini-Convention tomorrow. Now, I'm quite sure I'll have wonderful stories to tell about the interesting characters that I'll see. I'll be inside a big hotel all day tomorrow, so I'm going to miss being outdoors. It's times like this that I think I should take up smoking, so that I have a reason to go outside and just stand for like 5 minutes. It's spring in Michigan, Readers, desperate times call for desperate measures.